We Love Our Two Dads
by greensword101
Summary: Superboy finally has enough of Superman's cold behavior towards him. Robin suggests revenge on him and the Dark Knight. With the help of Lois Lane, the Team, even Alfred, the Future World's Finest prove that revenge is best served with humor...and a lot of rumors. Rated T for swearing and sexual references or innuendos. Not a Slash! Part of the "Humorverse."
1. Prologue: The Final Straw

**Disclaimer: All Rights to "Young Justice" Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network.**

**We Love Our Two Dads**

**Prologue: The Final Straw**

It was just another day in the Bank of Metropolis, people lining up in front of banking windows to either cash-in their checks or simply withdraw money for later usage like groceries or shopping. The building itself was large, twenty stories high and decorated wall to wall with portraits of people throughout the bank's history. Starting in the 18th century when Metropolis was being built, the building went from a simple construction project to a symbol of the wealth and prosperity that the city had gained.

One man in particular felt exhausted after his day at the Daily Planet, and had to endure the mindless gossip that he failed to tune out. At least the security cameras weren't making any of those electronic noises they usually made whenever they rotated. His boss, Perry White, had called his most recent story a "half-baked excuse of a paper" despite it focusing on the Justice League's triumph against the Injustice League and their mutant plants (though he didn't mention how the real heroes were the band of sidekicks that Batman referred to as "The Team" for reasons of secrecy and safety), Jimmy somehow got his head stuck in the toilet seat twelve times over the course of an hour, Lois wouldn't stop bragging about how her new boyfriend was so much more attentive than he was when they dated, and then there was that…other matter that his "brooding" friend would not drop for any given reason.

Lois had discussed the reason for their break-up with him in his apartment after work only three days ago, where no one would be the wiser about the man's double-life as a superhero.

"Sorry Smallville," Lois said in a tone that didn't sound sorry, "But between fighting Luthor, saving the world with the Justice League, and work, there's been just so much time we could spend together.

"I like you Clark," Lois' voice sounded really sincere this time, "I really do. But there is just so much we both need to get straight. I need to keep Perry from breathing over my shoulder all the time like a pervert, and you have to find balance in your life. There are so many things that you have to deal with at the moment. Like someone _else_ in your life?"

Clark's heart nearly stopped when she said this, "What are you talking about? Are you asking me if I've been cheating on you?"

Lois glared at him, "Don't play dumb with me, Kent! Bruce wanted to let me know how you can't even look at a teenager wearing your _S_ symbol in the eye without finding an excuse to leave. Give the kid a chance! He wants to know you."

"Well _I'm_ not the right person he should know!" Clark snapped, "He'll just be embarrassed that he's a clone and"-

"Clark Jerome Kent!" Oh great, not the middle name! "Conner is not a clone, he is-"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Clark sputtered out, "_It_ has a name?!"

"Yes, _he_ does," Lois retorted coldly. Clark never saw her that hurt in the past nine years of knowing her. Now he knew he said the wrong thing this time. More wrong than that time where he accidentally said that the dress that Lois wore made her look fat in front of the entire office...he wasn't expecting to find her high-heeled shoes digging into his crotch or for him to feel any pain at all. He was the Man of Steel for God's sake! You'd expect the apparatus below to be a little tougher than that.

"And that is why we can't stay together, Head of Lead. When you feel like being a responsible parent, come find me. No. How about you find Conner first!" And with that, Lois Lane stormed out of the room and slammed the apartment door shut behind her, causing several pictures on the wall to fall off.

Ever since that argument, Lois seemed to have made it her goal to keep Clark as annoyed and miserable as possible. Yesterday, she hacked into his computer and downloaded some pictures onto it that he was certain would ruin his career if they were ever leaked onto Facebook. Or at least give most women the idea that he was gay. Then, she encased his staplers in jello,-how was that possible outside of _The Office_? -And the most recent-and offensive- sabotage was decorating his desk with Batman novelties. Batman bobble heads, coffee mugs, even Batman-themed underwear found their way onto Clark's desk and drawers. And before his shift ended, he swore he saw Lois giving Perry a thumbs-up and mouthed the words,

"Thanks Perry, you're the best!"

Did she convince Perry to turn down Clark's most recent article for a stupid story about a cat that resembled the Joker? What is this world coming too?!

While he was lost in his thoughts, something hard and metallic hit him across the head. _WHACK!_ Because of his invulnerability to almost everything, it only felt like a feather duster to Clark, but he still had to fall over as if in pain to deflect any attention. His glasses slid across the smooth, elegant floor and left Clark feeling more vulnerable.

A thick leather glove grabbed at the front of his shirt and pulled the "dazed" reporter to his feet again. Clark found himself staring face to face with the owner of the gloved hand; a ski mask covered the face but Clark knew that it was a man, an equally black turtleneck covered the majority of his torso while a brown leather jacket helped conceal the arms, and graying pants combined with heavy-looking combat boots completed the menacing look…not that Clark was scared.

The masked man growled, "Hey buddy! You deaf or something? I told everyone to line up along the freaking wall! Now get to it!" And with that, he pointed his AK-27 at the reporter.

Clark held up his hands in surrender and proceeded to the west wall where all of the frightened patrons stood. Some had bloody noses, others were clutching petrified children. And all of them were handing over wallets and other valuables to at least twenty other similarly masked men. He looked up at the walls, wondering if someone was going to call security when he noticed that none of the cameras were moving at all. Of course, they were disabled! That's why Clark couldn't hear them today!

How could he have been so oblivious to his surroundings? If he wasn't so caught up in thinking about…him, then he could have excused himself, left the building and come back as Superman before the holdup could commence. The reporter almost reached the wall the _click!_ of a gun made him turn around.

"Hold it, Four-Eyes!" The masked man pointed the weapon at Clark, "Valuables."

Clark grumbled under his breath. He detached his pocket watch from his pants and pulled out his wallet, but lost grip on it and let the piece of leather fall to the ground. And the worst part about it was that it opened itself to reveal its contents: two ten dollar bills, his driver's license, and-oh God! If that robber saw that!

"Now what's this?" Too late!

The robber picked up the item and looked very closely at it, and then seemed to smirk at the reporter (if a scrunched up face concealed by a mask was considered a smirk at all.)

He then held it up to the reporter's face where it could be seen. It showed him in a fluffy pink bathrobe and a green face-mask that only old-fashioned ladies wore at night. His mouth was wide open in shock and he had tried to cover the camera lens in vain, as he moved his hand too slow and could only be seen as a blur. It was a blackmail photo that Clark had managed to get away from Lois last week...and now _this_ idiot has it! The Fates are not being kind at all today._  
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"Is Mister Four-Eyes hiding a little secret?" The robber sneered.

Clark wanted _so _badly to make a smart retort, but was concerned about putting the other civilians in danger. But when he saw a black blur right behind the crook, he said the last thing that he expected to come out of his mouth,

"Look out, there's someone behind you!"

But the warning came too late as a strong arm had swung down and collided with the robber's back. Clark looked up at his savior and almost frowned at the sight. The figure stood at least five feet and seven inches tall. Short black-jet hair covered his head. But the thing that made Clark want to scream was the black T-shirt that covered the young man's torso. Right in the middle of the shirt was the red S that was often referred to as Superman's symbol.

The boy picked something off of the ground and handed it to Clark.

"These yours?" He asked politely. In his hands were Clark's glasses. Clark nodded numbly and quickly snatched them from the...whatever it was' hands before he could get a good look at the reporter. The boy then turned around and face the other crooks.

The remaining robbers looked on with shock at the boy before sneering. One man went as far as to pull a young girl from the crowd of hostages and point his gun at her.

"Alright 'hero'," sneered the captor, "Put your hands in the air or this little girl will go bye-bye."

"I have a better idea," the boy growled. He put two fingers into his mouth and whistled. A gigantic white dog dashed behind the robber and tackled him to the ground. The girl immediately ran back to her mother while the teenager began to take down the rest of the robbers. The boy went after another crook while his dog yanked the guns out of each robber's hand with brute force.

In the middle of all the confusion, Clark managed to sneak out the back, noticing the many security guards knocked out. When he came back as Superman through the front, only two guards remained. Not wanting to look lazy, Superman swooped in and grabbed both of the robbers, pulling them into the air before smashing them (lightly) against each other.

He turned around and faced the civilians, "Get out of here quickly. I'll bring these thugs to the police"

The relieved crowd rushed out the doors into the open while the police rushed into the scene (finally!) and proceeded to handcuff the criminals. Some people even waved at the boy, the girl that he saved even shouted above the growing dim, "Thanks Superboy!"

Superboy smiled back at her shyly before turning to his older counterpart, as if wanting to talk to the man.

Superman instead growled, "Stay out of _my_ city and go bother someone else for a change!" And with that, the Man of Steel flew off, leaving Superboy with hot sensation in his stomach of boiling anger.

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"Forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven," Robin puffed in and out, just beginning his usual one-thousand push-up routine in the comforts of Mt. Justice. He was just starting to get into the feel of the work-out when he heard the female voice say,

"_Recognize, Superboy,_ _B04_." Followed by a ferocious roar belonging to the voice of a certain Kryptonian that he knew. Robin tried to ignore this and continued with his workout. His day had been rather annoying by his standards. First, he was ten minutes late for his class because he slept in this morning. Then, he was still to tired to function in Gymnastics-his favorite subject aside from Math-and embarrassed himself in front of the entire class. And then finally, he got a lecture from Batman about the mistakes he's been making during missions with the Team and was therefore forbidden from going on anymore missions with them until he improved. In other words, training non-stop all day.

"That's not fair," Robin protested, "I've been missing too many missions with the Team already!"

"Life's not fair Robin," the Dark Knight growled, "Your sloppiness is getting to the point of endangering yourself and your teammates!"

"Well maybe that wouldn't be the case if you let me _sleep_ more," Robin emphasized the word, sleep, in the hopes that Batman would understand the real problem.

He didn't.

And so, Robin stormed out of the Batcave before Batman could finish the lecture and went to the nearest Zeta-Tube in Gotham for the Cave. He knew Alfred would knock some sense into the Dark Knight. It was amazing how a man who battled psychopaths at night would tremble in fear against a butler in his sixties.

"Forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty-"

CRASH! BOOM! CRASH! Superboy proceeded to hit whatever was in front of him; a table, the couch, even the TV. Wolf, who had previously followed behind his master closely, scampered away when he saw the destruction.

"Fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five, fifty-six-"

CRASH! A punching bag...

"Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine-"

BOOM! A nearby wall by the sounds of it..

"Sixty, sixty-one, sixty-two, sixty-three-" Now Robin was beginning to lose concentration. The noises were giving him a headache now.

"Sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six, sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine-"

"WHY THE HELL WON'T SUPERMAN EVEN TALK TO ME?! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO HIM?!" Superboy roared at no one in particular. He even began to pound at the ground like a little child deprived of something they really want. "THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME THAT HE'S IGNORED ME JUST OUT OF PURE SPITE! I SAVED THOSE PEOPLE AND HE DIDN'T EVEN PRAISE ME!"

Robin felt the ground beneath him start to tremor and knew he had to stop his friend before the Cave collapsed on top of them. He ran towards Superboy and grabbed him by both shoulders. Wolf even came back and started to bark loudly at the young Kryptonian to snap him out of his rage. It wasn't until Conner accidentally hit the Boy Wonder when he finally stopped and looked on with horror from hurting one of his few friends. He slumped down to the ground and started to feel his lips tremble with fear.

"SB, you gotta control yourself!" Robin winced in pain. When he noticed his friend kneeling and gasping like a fish stuck on dry land, he felt a cold feeling in his stomach. Robin needed to get to the route of the problem.

"Conner," Robin began gently. Superboy looked up at the mention of his name before turning his back towards the young teen. "What's going on, buddy?"

"Superman," muttered Superboy, "I didn't mean to hit you."He looked away from Robin out of embarrassment.

Robin rubbed his chest slowly, "It didn't hurt that much you know. One bruise won't kill me."

Conner noticed that the young teen's voice still sounded positive, even after getting hit. Conner didn't want reassurance, he wanted the boy to let loose some anger, maybe yell at the clone. He felt so ashamed right now. As these thoughts pounded his head, Conner felt water drip down from his eyes down to his face. This never happened before.

"What's going on with my face?" Conner asked out loud, "Am I melting?!"

Robin smile gently, "I think you're crying, SB."

"Crying?"

"You know, when that sad feeling inside of you wells to the surface?" Robin explained. Conner didn't respond to the answer, confused by the words. Robin quickly remembered who he was talking to and went for a different approach, "SB, crying is what happens when you're really sad. First experience with it?"

Conner nodded numbly and slowly made his way towards his friend before slumping to the ground again. He began to sob loudly, not use to this type of negativity. Sensing his master's sorrow, Wolf whined and gently nudged Conner like he was trying to hug the boy. Robin wrapped an arm around Conner's shoulder and continued, "Want to talk about it?"

Conner shook his head rapidly. Robin sighed, this was going to be harder than he thought.

"Hey, come on. You're never going to feel better unless you talk about it," Robin encouraged, doing his best "Alfred" imitation, minus the British accent.

Conner sniffed a few times and proceeded to wipe his drippy nose. He cleared his throat a few time before he could start talking,

"Wolf and I...we went down to Metropolis again. Batman suggested I go there and try to talk to...him again. I hear cried of help in this bank and I rush over there and manage to take down most of the guys. Then...he came in and finished the job. There was this girl there...she thanked me before leaving and I felt so happy because I saved her..and she wasn't afraid of me. I thought that maybe, just maybe, Superman would praise me. But all he does is tell me to leave him alone basically and flies off somewhere away from me."

Robin sighed. He thought Uncle Clark would have grown used to Conner by now, he's _just_ a clone. And practically Robin's cousin by that matter.

"Dude," Robin began, "Just ignore what Supes said. If I'm having a really bad day, I look at the positives no matter how small they are. Look at what you did today, for example. You saved a lot of lives with no casualties all by yourself, and now a little girl became your newest fan. And the best part about it is that Superman wasn't around until it was practically over! No one can say that he did all of the work that time."

"Yeah... I guess you're right," Conner smiled weakly at his friend, "I feel a lot better now Robin, thanks."

"Hey, what are cousins for?" Robin smirked.

Conner stared at the young teen in confusion, "Cousins? You mean you're part Kryptonian too?"

Robin laughed at the remark, "No, no! To be honest, I've known Superman for a good deal of my life and he's kinda like my uncle-"

"Superman's your uncle?!" Conner's face was filled with a mixture of shock and confusion.

"Well, at least he _was_ until recently," Robin frowned, "I'm just calling you my 'cousin' in a figurative sense since Superman is basically your dad."

"So, does that mean Batman's _my_ uncle?" Conner asked excitedly. It would be really cool to have Batman as an uncle, he's been trying to help Conner a lot lately with training.

"Well," Robin began, "I guess."

"So that means Batman _is_ a Kryptonian!" Conner decided.

"No, no, SB. Batman isn't a Kryptonian either," Robin corrected, "I'm just saying that Superman is just like another part of my family. Like Batman, and KF, and even you for that matter."

Conner grin widened with each word the Boy Wonder said, "Cousins, huh?"

"Yep, we're cousins!" Robin agreed, "Just don't call Bats anything like 'Uncle Batman' unless there's a hospital close by in Happy Harbor."

Both boys laughed at the thought of it. If anyone ever called the Dark Knight "Uncle Batman," the brooding man would never live it down and take it out on anyone who said those two words. A thought suddenly dawned in Robin's head and he smiled at the budding idea in his head.

"Say, SB?" Conner looked at Robin, "I just thought of something. You're having problems with the Dork of Steel, and _I'm_ having problems with Bats right now. How about we get ourselves some old-fashioned pay-back at both of them, just to get some laughs? You in?"

"Hell yeah!" Conner shouted, "What do we do? M'gan saw this show where these guys placed their friend's hand in a bowl of warm water while the dude was sleeping and he _peed_! Want to try that? Oh! Oh! Oh! What about waiting for both of them to get into a shower...and then flushing a nearby toilet and listen to them scream in pain?"

Robin raised an eyebrow, "What happened to watching the 'Static Channel?'"

Conner shrugged, "M'gan made it a rule that I at least watch an hour of _actual_ television a day. But what about my ideas? Are they good?"

Robin shook his head, "Too childish. I was thinking something more _elaborate_. Something more..._scandalous! _And I know just the person who can help us too! They're in Metropolis though, just to warn you."

"Alright, I just have one more question though."

"Ask away, coz."

"Are you and Batman _remotely _related to Kryptonians at all?"

**To be continued! Please review and give out ideas. In case you're wondering what the revenge plan is, just look at the summary. Check for mistakes. Let me know if I got Lois, Clark, Robin, Batman, and Conner right. Anything in need of editing, just let me know. Happy Readings!**


	2. The Meeting

**Let me just thank those who have begun to follow this story after just one chapter and to those who went as far as to favor it. It's very encouraging as well as the reviews I got so far. I'd also want to give special thanks to Niom Lamboise for their constructive criticism on Lois, Superman and Conner. I'm sorry I made Lois and Clark act like real jerks to each other and promise to do better with them. As for Conner, the childish suggestions were just for the sake of humor, he's just new to the whole pranking thing. It's helping me go in the right direction with how characters are supposed to sound and act. Superman would also like to apologize for calling Conner an "it" two days ago. Don't you Superman?**

**Superman: I don't know what came over me to be honest.**

**Conner: Well I know what came over you. Bad characterization is what came over you!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights to "Young Justice" Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter One: The Meeting**

"Welcome to the Daily Planet, how can I help you two gentlemen?" A bored secretary asked two teenage boys the next day. The first one was tall and dressed in a large jean jacket with brown corduroys while the second was shorter by at least a foot; wearing a Gotham Knights sweatshirt, blue jeans and covered his eyes with dark sunglasses that matched his hair.

The two boys agreed to meet today since it was Saturday and therefore no school to go to. Richard managed to convince Batman to let him hang out with Conner while Conner managed to convince Red Tornado (who had recently returned) to let him go to Metropolis for the day. For an android, it was pretty stubborn.

The smaller boy spoke, "Yes, we're here to see a Miss Lois Lane? We have an appointment with her today."

The secretary looked at them, "Of course, I'll just call and let her know that you and your brother are here."

"We're cousins actually," the taller boy corrected.

"Let it go Conner, she doesn't care," whispered the smaller boy.

"Oh please! M'gan sings it too much at night, I don't need you to start singing it too!" Conner glared at the young teen.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Richard raised his eyebrows.

"This song called 'Let it Go' from this movie called Frozen," Conner sighed, "It's was nice the first time, but M'gan sings it every time someone says those three words!"

"You mean let it go?" Richard asked.

"Shhh, I don't want anyone else to break into song!" Conner looked around in alarm. When he saw that no one was singing...it, he sighed loudly with relief.

"You watched Frozen?" Richard smirked.

"...Yes." Conner replied reluctantly, "And it sucked!"

"Still a better love story than Twilight though."

"_You _watched Twilight?"

"No I didn't!" Richard cried indignantly, but his cheeks burned red with shame.

The secretary went over to her phone and punched in a few numbers. She held the phone to her ear and waited a few seconds before speaking in her bored voice,

"Yes, Mr. White? I have two boys down here claiming to have an appointment with Ms. Lane. Could you check if she has an appointment with uhhh? What are your names, boys?"

"Conner," the tall boy replied.

"Richard," answered the smaller boy.

The secretary talked through the phone again, "Conner and Richard...no? But they said-"

"Richard Grayson-Wayne, to be exact," the small teen smiled.

The secretary looked back at the two teens and frowned at Richard, "So's everyone else in Gotham and Metropolis."

Richard smiled, "But not everyone is on the front page of Gotham Stars last month." And then he pulled an issue of Gotham Stars, with the teen and an older man with black hair in the picture together outside of St. Maria's Orphanage in Gotham with a large crowd of children. Richard then took off his sunglasses to show that his blue eyes matched those of the boy in the picture. The secretary's face turned white and even peered at the corner of the magazine to see the date. This was last month's issue.

The secretary spoke in a frightened voice, "It's the Wayne's son, sir! ...Yes he has proof, he's right at my desk with his cousin, and he wants to see Ms. Lane right now! I don't care what she's doing, Mr. Wayne's son want to see her this instant. Thank you sir. I'll send them up."

The secretary hung up the phone and took several breaths before saying, "Alright, Ms. Lane's office is on the 4th floor, Office 12D. Thank you Mr. Wayne and enjoy your visit."

Richard looked closely at her name tag, "Will do, Miss...Leslie McDonald. You know, my family doctor's name is Leslie too. That's a very nice name."

Leslie blushed at the complement, kids never showed this much respect these days. Rich, young, handsome, _and _well-mannered! What more could a girl want?

"Also, could you promise not to tell my dad that I was here?" Richard asked, "I just want to see my friend."

Leslie nodded furiously, "My lips are sealed, young man. You can count on me! Have a nice day!"

"You too!"

The two boys entered the nearest elevator and pressed the button to go up to the 4th floor. Once the doors slid shut and the elevator started moving, Conner looked at him and asked,

"Why didn't that lady pay attention to me at all?"

Richard sighed, "Sometimes Conner, that's just how it is."

"She's acting a lot like Superman," growled Conner.

"I would be too if I were stuck at the desk all day with nothing to do," Richard explained, "I'm sure she's a really nice person."

Conner snorted sarcastically, "Yeah, to people with Wayne as a last name." Talking of names reminded Conner of something else,

"Your name's Richard?"

Richard blushed, "Well, Dick for short but-"

"Black Canary told me not to call anyone a dick!"

"Not that kind of dick, it's a long story," Richard replied quickly, wanting to avoid more confusion. He spoke again,

"You don't have to call me Dick, Conner. If you're okay with Richard, that's fine."

"So, who's Batman then?" Conner asked.

Richard sighed, "He's the man in the magazine with me. He's Bruce Wayne. I'm known as Richard John Grayson-Wayne in Gotham. We're..basically father and son."

Conner grinned, "I KNEW IT! Kalder owes me twenty dollars. He said that you two were brothers from another-"

Don't you DARE tell anyone who either of us are, that's Rule #1 in Batman's book!" Richard growled.

"I thought Rule #1 was never leave the Batcave without a utility belt," Conner thought out loud, remembering the incident with Mister Twister several months back.

When the doors slid open again, they walked out and proceeded their conversation.

"Technically, Rule 1 is 'Never Kill Under Any Circumstances,' but let's not argue," Richard whispered.

"Then why did you say Rule 1 was-"

"Let's not argue," Richard repeated fiercely.

Conner held his hands up in surrender. They made their way to the door of Office 12D when Richard stopped Conner.

"Okay Conner," Richard began, "It's only fair to warn you that my friend is pretty fierce if you get her upset. So remember to be polite, let me introduce you to her first, and most of all, DON'T LOSE YOUR TEMPER. You'll break something expensive and probably scare her too. Got it?"

Conner nodded. He was hoping that he didn't have to talk at all. He still had problems talking normally to new people. The world was just so confusing.

Richard opened the door and made his way through the army of desks before him. Conner stayed close, afraid that he might lose sight of his "cousin." He saw Richard go up to a young woman; somewhere in her thirties, long black hair that went down to her shoulders, with a look of deep concentration on her face. Conner thought it looked a lot like his face when he thought deeply about something. Every time he saw his face on a camera, there was that look all the time when he stood still. Could this woman be his mother?

As Conner made his way to the two people, Richard cleared his throat to get the woman's attention. The woman turned around and looked at him very closely.

She asked, "Richard?"

"Yep, it's me Aunt Lois," Richard smiled.

Conner almost blinked when he saw the woman called Lois got up from her chair and hugged Richard. If Richard called her "Aunt," then she _must_ be his mother, right?

The two hugged each other for a few more seconds before Richard pulled them apart gently,

"Sorry I didn't warn you ahead of time," he began, "But it's an emergency! It's about-"

"Your uncle?" Lois gave a knowing smile.

Richard took a step back, "How did you-?"

"Your dad called me two weeks ago when he saw the next to nothing progress on Smallville's part. Thought I could talk sense into him, but I didn't interfere until a few days ago when we broke up. And I've been pranking him ever since," Lois frowned at the last thought, "But I kind of went overboard with some of the things I did, though. The only thing that I'm sure got some laughs was the stapler in the jello trick. The rest was just mean though."

She looked up and noticed that Conner was standing a few feet away and smiled, "You must be Conner, then. I was really looking forward to meeting you."

Conner blushed. She dated Superman, was friends with Richard, and looked forward to meeting _him_? This woman was definitely his mother! He was even more surprised when she came up to him and embraced him in her arms. Conner saw Richard over Lois' shoulder mouthing the words 'Hug her back _gently_' and wrapped his arms around her hesitantly. The only other person he's hugged is M'gan, but that's just because she can deal with his strength. He still has problems controlling his powers overall.

Their embrace lasted a minute before Lois gently broke them off. She went back to her desk and grabbed her purse before speaking again,

"I was just about to take a lunch-break when you guys came in. Why don't we continue our chat then?"

Richard nodded. Conner thought for a few moments before nodding along as well. The Team did have a day off and he was hungry. He just hoped that there was some reason beyond hugs to talk about getting back at the Man of Steel and the Dark Knight.

**Thank you for reading. I was planning on having them talk about the payback plan this chapter, but I notice that it was getting too long. Robin, Superboy and Lois may hopefully begin to discuss their devious plan next chapter. Please review and point out mistakes, I want to know what is right and wrong and suggestions for fixing it. After the next chapter, I'll let you know if ideas are needed to make the story funny.**

**To any Frozen or Twilight fans who read this, I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. I think Frozen is okay at best. But I never watched Twilight, only know that a lot of people don't like it. But ignore my opinions, they don't matter to you and I respect your viewpoints. "Let it Go" can only be listened to so many times by the way.**

** Please Review to your heart's content!**


	3. The Plan

**I would like to thank everyone for their encouraging reviews, especially Niom Lamboise, who is making sure I get the characters and the writing down correctly. On a side-note, it will only be fair to warn you that Dick may call Bruce "Dad" on occasion later in the story if necessary. This chapter will focus on Dick, Conner, and Lois coming up with the perfectly hilarious payback plan against Superman. This will also feature Conner and Lois getting to know each other a bit better.**

**Also, to those confused with the constant updates with no new chapters, I was editing the previous two chapters because I saw mistakes that embarrassed me or thought could be a lot better, so please check them out for the new little bits I added that help make certain scenes more understandable. If you are annoyed with this, I am sorry. I'm just trying to avoid errors. I'd also like to apologize for the long wait, as I have been busy with other things.**

**Disclaimer: All Rights to "Young Justice" Belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter 2: The Plan**

Conner followed closely behind Lois and Richard like a stray puppy. He couldn't help but keep looking at their reporter companion. It wasn't with obsession, however. It was with curiosity, like a child seeing something new. This was a woman who knew Superman, his _father_! And yet, she reacted the exact opposite to the Man of Steel in terms of interacting with Conner. She actually _hugged_ him instead of finding an excuse to leave him quickly.

He knew that they weren't related at all, it was impossible to think that she was his mother. He was solely made up of Superman's DNA and nothing more. No woman was ever mentioned to him by the G-Gnomes during his captivity in Cadmus. He was just the result of a drop of blood left over from a battle against Doomsday. The boy only had a "father."

But before today, the definition for "mother" often came in the form of his tutor, Black Canary. She listened to him, pointed out mistakes without embarrassing the Boy of Steel, and she was strong to boot! The woman always checked up on him every other day to see if he was still breathing. But she still wasn't the right fit. No matter how much Conner respected and even cared about the heroine, she couldn't always be there for him. She wasn't...like him, not a Kryptonian, had little to no contact with Superman outside of Justice League meetings or major battles, and was told by the others that she was Green Arrow's girlfriend. GA's former sidekick, Speedy-now Red Arrow-had a closer connection with the woman and Conner did not want to intrude upon that.

"Hey! Stone Ears!" Richard called back to Conner.

Conner jumped at the noise, he was too caught up with thinking that he actually tuned every single noise out.

Lois smiled, "I asked if you wanted to get something here." She pointed at a sign above her head which read, "Bibbo's Diner." Conner looked back behind him and noticed that they went a bit of a distance from the Daily Planet. Probably about a mile or two from just walking. He looked back at Lois and merely shrugged his shoulders, he just wanted to get down to business ASAP.

The trio proceeded inside the diner, which had a pretty basic layout. The majority of the seats were located against the walls of the place and were cushioned with leather padding, the waitresses all wore the same light pink uniform that you saw around the 1950s, and there was even a jukebox in the corner that was currently playing a song from the 50s too.

Lois walked towards the nearest table and proceeded to sit down and pick up a menu. Richard sat opposite of her with Conner trailing behind him. They both picked up the menus in front of them and scanned them for anything good.

A young waitress came up to them after a few minutes and said, "Welcome to Bibbo's Diner. May I take your order?"

Lois replied first, "Yes, I'll have a Greek Salad with no dressing, and I'll also have some water."

When the waitress looked over towards Conner, he blushed, "I-I guess I'll have some apple pie."

"Could you set me up with some devil's food?" asked Richard while their waitress finished writing down Conner's order.

"That's funny," Lois spoke up the moment their waitress left, "Apple pie was something that Sup-"

She notice Richard shaking his head rapidly. He pointed to a nearby waitress and then pointed to another group of patrons a few feet away from them. Lois nodded in understanding; they couldn't talk about Justice League stuff around here.

"Apple pie was what?" Conner asked.

"Just something Smallville always ordered whenever we came here," Lois replied quickly before people started staring.

"Smallville?" Conner raised an eyebrow.

Richard nudged him gently. He whispered,

"That's Lois' nickname for Supes. I'll tell you about it later."

"Does that mean his pe-"

"It's the name of a town!" Richard stopped him. How did a clone that was only a few months old already know about innuendos? The Boy Wonder already began to suspect that a certain Speedster had something to do with it. He just hoped that Conner didn't know _too_ much or try anything...anything that would make Batman more terrifying than before.

Lois chuckled under her breath, "Never thought of it that way before! Better ask the man in blue when I see him. Anyways Conner, Mr. Gloom and Doom tells me you're in school already. How do you like it so far?"

_Batman_, Richard mouthed before Conner could open his mouth. He chewed at his bottom lip for a few moments. There weren't any troubles with academics as far as Conner was concerned. He got good grades, knew what foods were good to eat and those to avoid during lunch time, and he even made a few friends with M'gan's encouragement.

Conner shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. M'gan makes me wear glasses now though, since she thinks the whole 'turning my shirt inside-out' idea isn't good enough."

"Then how come you aren't wearing them right now?" Lois asked.

Conner blushed, "B-because I didn't think I'd need them right now."

Lois rummaged through her handbag for a few moments before pulling out a pair of thick glasses, "Here. Use these for now. Smallville keeps on breaking his whenever we went out, so I always brought some extras with me."

"Super-I mean this 'Smallville' guy wears glasses?" Conner's eyes widened with the new information processing in his head.

"Just to hide his identity," Lois replied as she handed over the glasses, "Try these on. Better safe than sorry is what I always say."

Conner looked uncertain, "Miss Lane, I don't know. What if they don't-?"

"Don't be shy, I'm sure they'll fit," Lois smiled encouragingly, "And don't call me 'Miss Lane.' That's what people called my mother. Call me Lois, or Aunt Lois if you want to, like Dick over here!."

Conner smiled, Lois really was a nice woman. Kind, prepared, and...trustworthy. When Conner adjusted the glasses onto his face properly, they fit like a glove... if that makes sense at all. They didn't slide off his face like the ones M'gan bought him. They even felt more comfortable than his other pair. He turned towards Richard.

"How do I look?" Conner asked.

Richard chuckled, "Well... you _do _look different. I never thought the glasses were a good disguise, but you've just proven me wrong!"

Lois stood up, "I gotta go powder my nose for a few minutes. If the food comes, just text me."

Richard nodded. Conner scratched his head. He asked, "What does 'Powder my nose' mean?"

"It means Aunt Lois has to go to the bathroom and put on more make-up," Richard snickered.

The waitress returned shortly afterwards with a generous helping of pie, chocolate cake, and a plate of Greek salad. After thanking the waitress, Richard pulled out his phone and sent a text to Lois. The next few minutes were filled with silence as the three proceeded to dive into their food.

"So Lois," Conner began with uncertainty once all eating ceased, "Do you...want to get down to business?"

"We are," Lois answered, "I just want to make sure you have a general understanding of Smallville. What makes him tick, things he likes to eat, all that jazz."

"Why?"

"Because it's part of the plan," Richard replied, "I was always told that you had to know your enemy inside and out. We already have a plan of action, but you need to brush up on Supes a bit."

Conner frowned, "We already have a plan? Why didn't I hear about this?"

"Because you tuned us out while we were walking here. Sorry," Richard answered with an apologetic smile, "So what is the latest buzz that most people are talking about?"

"Frozen?" Conner reluctantly asked.

"Aside from that," Lois pointed out.

The next few minutes were filled with silence while Conner thought to himself. Was it a new video game? Music? TV show?

Conner sighed, "Alright. I give up. What's the latest buzz?"

"Batman and Superman," Lois and Richard replied simultaneously.

"Where they hang out," Richard started.

"Their favorite foods," Lois added.

"If they're friends," Richard included.

"Or _closer _than that!" Lois concluded with dramatic effect.

Conner raised an eyebrow, "You mean like they're..._dating_?"

"By George, I think he's got it!" Richard cheered.

"So what does this have to do with the plan?" Conner asked.

Lois smirked, "This is what we call a 'scandal war.' So I suggest that if you don't have a pen and paper with you, borrow one from the counter because I am going to tell you everything I know about Smallville."

"Excluding the secret identity bit," added Richard.

Lois made sure Conner was looking straight into her eyes before speaking again, "Listen up, Conner. This is going to be Phase 1 of our plan!"

**To Be Continued...**

**Please Review. Look For Mistakes. All That Jazz.**

**Again, I apologize to any Frozen fans I may have somehow offended.**

**In case you are wondering, Bibbo's Diner is the actual name of the diner Batman and Superman went to in Young Justice to discuss Conner early on in Season 1. What will Phase 1 involve? Suggestions are most welcome. This is going to be a team effort from this point on now for the next several chapters. How will Robin and Superboy make it look like their "dads" are now a couple? Will the Team help out next chapter? Will Batman, the World's Greatest Detective not be any wiser to this scheme? Will I ever stop asking questions that no one will answer? Stay tuned for the next chapter that may (hopefully) come out in a few days!**


	4. Payback Begins

**Hello again. Sorry about the long wait, but I was really hoping you guys would send suggestions in the reviews. Your reviews are what keeps this story alive. Please, I cannot do this on my own! This chapter I had to write by myself and believe me, it was _not_ easy. Promise to give more constructive criticism, and this story will stay out of production hell. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter 3: Payback Begins**

"YOU CALLED CONNER AN 'IT'?!"

Clark hated it when Batman got angry. When that happened...well, he felt like he was going to piss his pants. This time was different. After several months of arguing Clark's role as a "parent," Batman seems to have reach his boiling point with the Kryptonian's behavior. He had only gotten off the phone with Lois earlier that evening and the moment the Dark Knight saw the idiotic reporter down in the Batcave on invitation, all hell broke loose.

"ANSWER ME YOU CORN-FED HICK!" Batman screamed at the top of his lungs again when Clark, now Superman, kept his mouth closed.

Batman's trusted butler and confidant, Alfred muttered in the background, "Now really sir, all of this yelling is unnecessary, Master Clark does have super-hearing you know. Might I suggest using a megaphone instead?"

Superman tried to play the 'tough guy' despite how pale his face looked at the moment, "In my defense, I said the word in front of Lois and not-"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR EXCUSE IS _SMALLVILLE_! BUT I CARE ABOUT YOUR RECENT BEHAVIOR WITH CONNER!" Batman roared again, this time speaking through a megaphone Alfred handed him, "HOW DARE YOU ACT LIKE A CHICKEN AROUND YOUR SON- YES, YOUR SON _KENT_, YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY EXCUSE FOR THAT NOW CAN YOU?!- AND YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THINGS STARTING NOW!"

"I'm sorry," Superman said pathetically, "I don't know what came over me when it happened I swear-"

"Well I do," growled Batman, "You always act like nothing can phase you; not Lois with her sarcasm, not Luthor with his never-ending attempts to kill you, not even me whenever you manage to piss me off somehow. But the truth is that you are a coward! You justify your cold behavior with Conner by telling yourself that he is a clone, not a real person. But guess what Smallville, he _is _your son. He has _your_ blood flowing through his veins, and he _needs_ his father to teach him. Is this how your parents, both biological and adoptive, would have wanted you to handle this scenario? Would they want to see the Last Son of Krypton being frightened by his own child?"

Superman's next argument died on his lips when the last question came out. Would Ma and Pa be able to forgive his childish actions? They didn't even know there was a Superboy in the world yet! And if his real parents were alive...Superman didn't know what to think. And the last time he spoke to...to him, he was a complete jerk simply because he was in a foul mood. He should have been proud of...of Conner and praised him for saving those people by himself, he should been...less of an asshole and more of a-father? friend?- maybe like an older brother or something. Superman's face started easing up, his warrior face melting into a frown. A sick feeling in his stomach that had nothing to do with food started building up, making him want to throw up.

Batman carefully looked at Superman's hallow expression before snarling, "My point exactly. Now listen very closely Kent, because you treading on very thin ice right now! You are going to Mount Justice tomorrow; you are going up to Conner, look him straight in the eye and apologize. And that's not all, you will be a more active parent. You will help him during training sessions, act as den mother when needed, even help him with his homework if he's failing or so help me, I will take a large chunk of Krptonite and shove it right up your-"

"Wherever you're gonna shove the Kryptonite, at least let me take a picture of the moment," a voice cackled from upstairs. Batman felt his lip curve slightly at the sound of that voice. Despite all of the arguments that kept on happening now, he was still happy to know that his son was back. It was just a visit to Metropolis after all, it's much safer than Gotham. What was he doing there in the first place anyways? As Dick came down, however, he wasn't happy to see that Conner was going into _his_ cave. Oh Lord, even _Conner_ knows now!?

Conner's eyes widened at the sight all around him. A penny that stood at least thirty feet tall was tucked away in one corner. A T-Rex-wait, aren't dinosaurs extinct?-was standing by a gigantic computer that was pressed against the back wall. Rows upon rows of costumes, vehicles, weapons, practically _everything_ was stored in glass cases all around the room. and then there were the bats. Bats that kept on screeching and flying all around. One even landed on Richard's shoulder, whom he petted affectionately before it flew off again. Richard was right, Uncle Batman wasn't crazy. HE WAS INSANE! He collected more souvenirs than Wally did.

"Hey Bruce," Dick smiled cautiously at his foster father, understanding that he broke two rules by A) telling someone his secret ID and B) bringing them into the Batcave. When Alfred brought Vicky Vale into the cave a few years back, Batman decided to forbid anymore unwanted guests outside of the Justice League (or the Speed Force since Wally knows who his best friend is as well as his uncle.)

"Dick," Batman nodded curtly, "I see you brought Conner here." Conner waved, oblivious to the glare now plastered onto the Dark Knight's face.

"I do hope you didn't hear the...dispute occurring down here, now did you?" Alfred asked.

Dick shook his head while Conner blurted out, "No offense, but your walls are pretty thin. I could hear _everything_." At this remark, Dick face-palmed while Superman's face went from deadly-white to scarlet-red in embarrassment. Of course Conner could hear everything, he was Kryptonian for God's sake!

"Is there anything else you'd like to bring up, Master Conner?" Alfred asked, trying to keep the conversation from going sour.

Conner bit his lower lip for a few moments before saying, "Yeah. Does Superman have a small...you know?"

Dick groaned "Conner!"

Alfred lost control of himself and broke down laughing.

Superman's face turned an even darker shade of red.

Batman simply asked, "Where the hell did you get that idea from?"

Conner shrugged, "Heard his nickname was...what was it again, Dick? Shortstuff? Wee-Wee? Tiny Ti-"

"My nickname is Smallville!" Superman blurted out without thinking.

"That's the one!" Conner exclaimed, "Smalllville. So is it true?"

"Oh look! Up in the sky! Can you see it?" Superman pointed far out into the cave at nothing in particular. The moment Conner turned his head in the direction that Superman's finger was pointing, the Man of Steel flew out of the Batcave before Batman could stop him. The Dark Knight groaned in frustration; after all, he did say that Superman would get started tomorrow... Stupid loopholes!

When Conner noticed that Superman left him _again_, he was tempted to break something. Maybe that penny could handle a couple of hits of his?

"Dad?" Bruce turned to his son. It was so long since he called him that, "Is it all right if Conner stays over? It is a Saturday after all."

Bruce turned to Alfred, who had finally recovered from his laughing fit, waiting for some help. The butler gave a quick nod, and so the Wayne heir conceded defeat.

"Fine," Bruce groaned, "But I'm driving him back to Mount Justice tomorrow morning."

Alfred interjected, "If I may ask, sir, but what about church?"

Bruce rolled his eyes, "Am I a Catholic?"

"Depends. Am I the one whose cooped up in a filthy cave for hours on end?" Countered Alfred.

"..."

"Wait a sec, I'M Catholic," Dick realized.

"Does this mean that I'm Catholic?" Conner asked, "What is Catholic anyways?"

"Another story SB, another story," Dick responded, "Want to see my room?"

"Hell yeah!" Conner cheered, "Race you!"

The moment they rushed upstairs again, Bruce turned to Alfred, the million dollar question on his lips,

"Where the hell did the small penis joker come from?"

"A wise man once said, 'In a world of peaches, don't ask for applesauce'," Alfred responded wisely with a straight face.

"But I'm allergic to applesauce," Bruce frowned.

"No, that's what Leslie told you when you were younger to prevent from stealing that girl's applesauce from kindergarten," Alfred corrected.

"Why you little-!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dick had to clutch his ribs to prevent laughter from escaping his lips as both he and Conner looked over the piece of paper that Lois was able to scribe for them. It was so perfect, now all that they needed was some of that cologne Bruce loved putting on for work and they'd be all set. Only problem was that Bruce's room was typically off limits during the day. The door was unlocked only during the night, whenever Bruce wanted to check up on his son.

"Why don't you go in there tonight?" Conner suggested.

"Because I don't go in there unless I have a nightmare; and when I do, I don't leave Bruce's side during the night. If I do that, he might get suspicious," Dick explained. And there were other reasons too, that couldn't be spoken outloud: it was only when the nightmares were too...intense did he ever go see his father for comfort. It would be a betrayal of his trust. There had to be another way...

"Could I be of any assistance to you two sirs?" A familiar British voice spoke from behind, "Anything in the ways of, as the kids say, pranking?"

Conner's face flashed with fear when the majordomo said these words. He jumped up, "Richard, he knows! We have to induce amnesia!"

"No, no, Conner," Dick warned as he saw Conner pull out knock-out gas-where did that come from?!-and stepped in between the two before anything happened, "We can trust Al, he's a friend. Right Alfred?" As he said this, Dick looked at his old friend with worry, hoping that his trust wouldn't ruin everything.

When Alfred nodded, both boys relaxed. They had to keep their allies to a minimum for now.

"Wait a minute!" Conner frowned, "How do we know we can trust him? He works for Batman!"

"I also work for Master Richard, sir, so there should be nothing to fear," Alfred replied calmly, "I too can get weary of Master Bruce's behavior. Sarcasm can only get you so far these days. I trust you won't attempt to erase my memory by kissing me, Master Conner?"

Conner's face went pink, "Dude! You're a guy. _I'm_ a guy. Why would I kiss you?"

"He's joking and I'll explain later," Dick replied.

"You always say that though," Conner grumbled.

"And I always make true with my promises," Dick countered. Conner shrugged his shoulders in agreement.

"Promise me that you both will be in bed by 10:30 tonight, and I will secure whatever you need from Master Bruce's room without drawing any suspicion," Alfred promised.

Dick nodded eagerly and shook hands with the grandfatherly figure. Conner merely looked at the old man with caution. _Could he trust another person already?_ But if Richard trusted him, then Conner should take the leap of faith as well.

Conner pulled out his hand and smiled, "Deal."

**Once again, PLEASE Review with criticism. Dick and Conner aren't the only ones who need outside help to get the job done. The next chapter may take a few days as I have college to worry about now that final exams are rearing their ugly faces soon. But I promise to keep up with the story as long as you keep offering suggestions for how the story should go. Thank You and Happy Readings!**


	5. Awkward Power Use

**Hello again. Sorry about the long wait, but I have been working on another story for the past few days. The name of the story is "Dynamic" if you want to check it out. It's basically my version of the Justice League cartoon from the early 2000s with Robin as a member. Just wanted to let you know, I am not advertising, I am merely explaining in detail...back to the subject at hand now!**

**Well, some suggestions came in after a while. As always, Niom Lamboise has offered helpful suggestions as did another reviewer. Unfortunately, I do not know their name as they were on as a guest. If either of these two reviewers are reading this, then I am letting you know that your suggestions are being taken into consideration, _real_ consideration. If either of you guys mentioned above is reading this, I am taking your suggestions into consideration, _real_ Thank you to both readers for their support. Now that Alfred has joined in the prank, things are about to get more...sophisticated.**

**This will be a bit shorter than the last because my laptop is low on battery and I didn't want to drone on and on without moving the plot forward. But this chapter is important for setting up the next update. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network.**

**Warning: There is an unexpected scene between Conner and Wally, do not completely believe the title (sorry girls.) I made it clear in the summary that this was not a slash and I'm keeping my word on it. You'll understand in a few paragraphs why.**

**Added December 5th: This is just an update on this chapter, making it longer and filling it with larger paragraphs. I'm sorry I got your hopes up, but the next update will come in an hour or so. Don't worry.**

**Chapter 4: Awkward Power Use**

_"Recognize, Robin B02. __Superboy, B04."_

Kid Flash turned when he heard the feminine voice announce the arrival of his best friend and..._Conner?_ Well that was new. Maybe that's why Conner said he was going out yesterday morning. What were those two even doing? Before today, Wally never really saw those two share more than a few sentences with each other. Sparing? Whatever it was, the two teens seemed to have gotten closer with one another as both of them seemed to be in a deep conversation,

"..one of the weirdest powers I've ever seen a hero use," Robin said to Conner, "_That's_ what Al was talking about."

"Ohhh," Conner nodded in understanding-_what were they talking about?_-and spoke, "So he thought that I could give him amnesia by-"

"Exactly," Robin nodded in agreement, "Then there's Poison Ivy, but she usually kills anyone by doing that. I'm actually impressed you even knew that much about her to begin with."

"Well, after the Injustice League incident, I thought it would be safer to know what we were running up against next time," Conner replied calmly, "Out of everyone on the team, you were the only one slightly prepared."

Robin chuckled, "You crazy? I could barely hold my own with the Joker. I was too busy dodging a knife-slashing maniac to even make a pun. That was not aster at all. You guys did better than me that time."

"It was aster that you were able to get out of the fight without a single scratch," Conner elbowed him lightly (still hurt Robin though), "So back to our conversation..."

"What I'm trying to say is, I guess Al assumed that you have that power too."

"Should we test out his theory?" Conner was starting to look excited at whatever they were discussing. Why were those two even talking to each other for more than five seconds? And did Conner just speak in what Wally refers to as "_Robinese" _or Robin-speak? What was next, Robin staring at the television when it's only just static? Was SB going to start cackling like the Boy Wonder too?

When Robin turned his head and saw Kid Flash, an evil grin spread across his face. He spoke in a rather casual voice,

"Sure, Conner. Why don't you test it out on Wally here? Since no one else is around..."

Conner looked worried at...whatever it was they were talking about, "Are you sure that's a good idea? Hey Wally, do you want to help us out with a theory?"

When Conner spoke to the young Speedster, Wally blinked a few times. How often did Conner talk this normally around others? And what did they want to test out so badly? Was it that power that some dumb villain from Gotham called Poka-Dot Man? Did they figure out how to use it? Or was it one of those "legendary Bat-Suits" that Dick always talked about? Did they steal one out of the Batcave somehow? Maybe it was the dumb costume with the rubber nipples Dick bragged about! Wally had yet to see any of those suits, however, so it probably wasn't that. ...Ah, what the hell.

Wally shrugged his shoulders, "Sure, whatever it is you want to test out, just do it."

"You heard the man, Conner," Robin placed a hand on Conner's shoulder, "Just remember to aim somewhere _other_ than the usual target I described."

Wally looked alarmed now as Conner saluted the Boy Wonder and came charging towards the Speedster like a rhino. He tried to run, but the Kryptonian was too fast for him and already pinned him down before Wally could react in time. He struggled, tried vibrating through, but of course that didn't work out as usual. Wait! Wouldn't that mean he would have to literally go through Conner...gross!

"Wait! What are you doing?" Wally almost screamed as Conner drew his face closer.

"I have no idea," Conner replied in a deadpan voice right before he grabbed a hold of the Speedster's head and kissed him on the cheek, leaving Wally shocked while a small _click!_ occurred where Robin was standing, a white flash following it. Conner then quickly got up and gave Robin a confused look.

Wally's eyes grew wide with horror, "What the hell just happened?"

Conner raised a fist with cheer, while Robin broke down laughing in the background, tears already streaming down his face, "It worked! I can induce amnesia with a kiss!"

Wally smack Conner over the head, just like Artemis does whenever the Speedster says something stupid. His hand hurt, though it was to be expected when hitting a Kryptonian, "No, you idiot! I remember what happened. I was just shocked you kissed me! You _kissed _me!" He repeated the last sentence as if to emphasize the situation.

"Richard!" Conner glared at his 'cousin,' "You lied to me!"

"No-ha! ha! ha!- I just-ha! ha!- just said to try it on Wally!" Robin gasped in-between laughs, "I didn't know if it would work either."

"Hold on! Did Conner just call you _Richard_?" Wally looked at his friend with shock, "Does that mean he-"

Robin just nodded while trying to keep a straight face on and failing miserably at it. First Wally, then Roy, and now Conner knows who Dick is? And from what Robin already hinted, Artemis may already have a clue to the Boy Wonder's secret identity as well. But...how? It wasn't like they lived in the same city, right?

"Sooo, you just decided to prank me?" Wally continued slowly. He already dreaded the answer that his pal would give him.

Robin shrugged, "Just for practice. I like to mix it up a little."

"That was low dude," Wally growled at his friend, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to disinfect my face!"

"I'm sorry I kissed you," Conner called out to Wally as he stormed out of the room. He then felt a familiar sensation in his head, pounding at his mind like a hammer covered with Kryptonite. Before he could respond to the source, the sensation broke through his defenses and brought an echoing voice with it.

_What's that about kissing, Conner?_ Oh crap, M'gan sounded pissed! _Who did you kiss? Was it Artemis?__  
><em>

_No, M'gan! It's...it's a long story but the important thing is that I thought my lips had superpowers. _Conner channeled his thoughts back to M'gan through the mind-link they were both currently sharing. He already had the feeling that this conversation would not end well.

_Superpowers? What are you...? Hello Megan! You thought you had the same power as Superman. The one where you make people forget things by kissing them. _Conner sighed with relief that his premonition was wrong.

_Between you and me, I wish _I _could forget the moment I put myself in. _Conner went red, regretting how he surprised Wally without any warning. This day was not starting out well despite the plans he had already made with Richard. _Can't fly. No heat vision. I can't even kiss people like Superman can!_

_You know everyone can hear you, right? _Artemis too?! Who else did M'gan link up with? _Wally just told me you kissed him. _

_On the cheek, Artemis, on the cheek._ Robin added to the psychic-conversation in his sagely voice. _Could you tell Wally the w__hile he's at it, how about announcing it to the entire world too!_

_Dude! This is _your _fault I'm scarred for life! _Wally's thoughts piled in. He sounded even more pissed than M'gan now. Conner already said he was sorry, so what was the big deal?_  
><em>

_In my defense, I did not know Conner would follow through with my suggestion. _Robin put it bluntly. _And how are you scarred for life? You've faced a lot worse than a guy kissing you, Mr. Drama Queen!_

_That was still a dirty move even for you, my friend. _Aqualad too. What is this, a six-way phone call?! _While I understand that humor is different on land than in Atlantis, putting a friend through an ordeal like that is despicable!_

_Wally says he was just kissed on the cheek. _M'gan pointed out. _Is that a bad thing?_

_Depends on what your definition of "bad" is. _Zatanna too?!

_Hey, this line is private! _Conner sounded really annoyed.

_Says you. _Zatanna countered. While it was nice that she was coming to the cave more often now that her father was loosening up, it was still annoying that she was butting her head in something as silly as this!

_Why is everyone talking to each other...? Oh, hello Megan! I set up the team-link by mistake. Sorry guys! Force of habit._

_Soooo, do we just "hang-up" or something? _Artemis asked awkwardly.

_I have to do that, Artemis. You can't really "hang-up" as you put it. _M'gan explained.

_Hey, can we just meet in the living room and talk? This is getting really weird. _Wally suggested.

_Can't. Room's under repair. _Conner answered sheepishly.

_What happened in there, Conner? _M'gan sounded curious.

_I uh...had a temper tantrum and busted the TV..._

_Again!? Dude, why did you have to take it out on the network? I _loved _that TV!_

_Well if you love it so much why don't you marry it, Baywatch?_

_No one asked you, _Fartemis!

_It was just _one _time, Kid Mouth! You don't have to make a nickname out of it!_

_Alright, no more talking! _M'gan was getting too much information now. Even she was starting to lose her cool.

_Don't you mean stop thinking? _Zatanna asked innocently.

M'gan was about to explode with frustration when she heard a feminine voice announce the last person she'd expect to come in here.

_"Recognize, Superman. 01."_

**Once again, I apologize for the short chapter. I have to get off my laptop now. As always, please review and give suggestions to add onto the prank. Follow Niom Lambiose's example, they are really helpful right now. Thank you for your support and happy readings!**


	6. He Doesn't Like Being Called An It!

**Hello again faithful readers. I just wanted to let you know in case you didn't hear, I will now be updating every other in order to keep everyone including myself happy. This next chapter will involve (you guessed it) Superman! A guest reviewer suggested something happen here and I am following through with their idea, since it was good. Whoever you are, thank you so much for the help you offered! So just sit back and watch the magic happen. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights to Young Justice Belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network.**

**Chapter Five: He Doesn't Like Being Called An It!**

Conner turned around to see the Zeta tube fill with blinding light before a figure materialized out of it and stepped forward. He felt his stomach clench itself with worry as he continued watching the Man of Steel further into the Cave. Superman's eyes had bags under them, a big difference from yesterday when Conner managed to get a good look at him then. Was he laying in bed all night, mulling over what Batman said about him being a coward? On any other day, Conner might have been concerned. Unfortunately, with the plan moving forward, he was only thinking about the Man of Steel getting his just-desserts in the form of sweet revenge.

Superman stopped in his tracks when he finally noticed Conner and Robin standing in front of him. He looked from one teen to the other, as if deciding which one was more appropriate to talk to at the moment. It looked as if he had decided to talk to Robin, judging by how his head was facing the Boy Wonder. But when he began to open his mouth, Robin gave him a Bat-glare, thus making Superman actually look at Conner. Well, it looked like he was looking at Conner, but the Boy of Steel saw that the man's eyes were moving all over the place and not even giving Conner a second glance.

"So," Superman began awkwardly, "How was your time at Batman's house, uh, Superboy?"

"Nice," Conner admitted, "Ri-" He heard Robin whisper, "Not in front of the others!" very softly so that only the two Kryptonians could hear it with their super ears. Conner started over, choosing his words more carefully this time,

"Robin and I were...playing basketball last night. It was fun."

Superman raised his eyebrows. This kid played a sport with Dick and didn't hurt the Boy Wonder? Even _he _had some problems with controlling his strength whenever he and Bruce played a round in the basketball court up in the Watchtower. It was a rare occasion for the Dark Knight to not leave the space shuttle without a single bruise on his arms. Other heroes would have probably decided to never play with Superman again, but Batman seemed to view it as training. That was what Dick told him once anyways._  
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"So...do you want to show me what you've learned so far?" Superman asked slowly, feeling that he needed to emphasize his words to the clone. Conner's face brightened greatly as the man before actually asked him something that concerned around his training. He nodded vigorously in reply, words unable to come out of his mouth properly. Robin noticed this and decided to step in to help.

"There's a smaller trapeze in the west wing of the Cave. I usually use it when I can, but Conner's an exception for right now," the Boy Wonder suggested.

The Man of Steel merely nodded and let the small teen lead the way while the others found their way over to Robin and SB and began following as well, overhearing the conversation that was shared between the two Kryptonians. The distance between the main hall and Robin's private workout room was great, even Wally thought they would never reach the destination.

When they finally reached the room, Superboy gazed with wonder at the sight before him. The trapeze swing was smaller than the one he used at the Batcave, but it looked more comfortable and had the appearance of not being used often enough. There was a balance beam in the center of the room, with a safety mat underneath it. The wall next to him had a small container filled with chalk dust for using the equipment here. And there were these posters placed on every wall depicting a different bird in flight.

Conner looked at Robin, who gave him a nod to proceed. The Boy of Steel dipped his hands in chalk, climbed up the trapeze swing, took a deep breath and leaped off the platform. M'gan gasped as she watched her boyfriend let go of the swing, but relaxed as he performed a flip in the air before latching onto the other swing. He kept on doing this for several minutes, adding variations to his moves with each passing swing. The last move he did had Conner flipping once, twice, three times, four times before he latched on the swing and got back onto the platform. Robin immediately clapped for his cousin while the others followed through. When Conner looked over to where he saw Superman last, he saw that the Man of Steel was no longer there. Everyone looked to where Conner was staring and groaned with frustration.

Robin checked the Cave's cameras through his glove computer, "He's already in the main hall. We'll never catch him in time!"

Conner growled and leaped off of the platform and landed with a _boom!_ He started to march off after Superman before Robin said,

"Zatanna, can't _you_ bring us to the main hall?"

The young magician shook her head, "I told you before. It takes a lot of energy and my spells are kind of limited at the-"

"Just try it!" Conner barked unexpectedly. He quickly regretted his tone when Zatanna threw a venomous look at him. If looks could kill!

"I'm sorry," Conner said quietly.

Fortunately, she sighed and said, "All right. I'll try. Let's see here: _Gnirb su ot eht niam llah!"_

A flash of light followed through and the Team felt themselves being pulled towards something like a magnet. Conner could only see white all around him and closed his eyes, willing himself to get through the risk he put himself in. When the light faded, they found themselves face to face with Superman again in the main hall. Zatanna dropped to the floor in exhaustion, amazed that everyone was unharmed. The Man of Steel's look of utter shock at the Team's sudden appearance was nothing compared to Wally's reaction to the spell.

"OH MY GOD!" Wally screamed with his eyes closed, "I THINK I'VE GONE BLIND! HOLD ME, M'GAN!"

"Will you grow up?" Artemis slapped him upside the head, making him open his eyes and blush red.

Conner glared at the Man of Steel. He asked, "Why didn't you stay and watch me?"

"I've got business to attend to," Superman replied without hesitation, but his face became conflicted, "Bizarro broke out of prison again."

"Liar!" Artemis barked. Conner looked at her with surprise, she wasn't usually one to talk back to her elders, "There wasn't any calls, we would have heard something. Conner would have heard something too, we saw him looked surprised! You just tried to walk out on him _again!_"

Superman glared at the young archer, "It's not your place to know of League business Art-"

"Bullshit!" Wally shouted this time. Conner felt his face growing red with each tense moment. He never heard his friend speak like that before on his behalf so fiercely.

"It's not _your_ place to just get cold feet around Conner!" Wally continued, "You know, I always wondered why Batman had a hard time getting along with you. Now I know why, you're just a stupid chicken that doesn't know to put his underwear on before his pants!"

Superman looked down at his uniform and blushed. Why did Ma have to design the costume like that? He felt the temperature around him drop further as the other sidekicks gave a _very_ good impression of the Bat-glare. This times seven should equal death! So why was Superman still standing unharmed!?

The Man of Steel tried to defuse the situation before it got out of hand, "It's not that, it's just that I'm not equipped with the needs to-"

"It looks like you were equipped properly," Robin interjected, "You just regretted your little impulse after it happened!"

"Robin, I didn't sleep with anyone, you know that!" Superman's face went even redder than before. The unkind snickers around the room only made him feel more self-aware, "I'm just saying that Superboy is different from you and I. It doe-"

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" Wally shouted, "He _doesn't_ like being called an _it!_ How dare you!"

Crap, he was just digging his grave deeper now. Superman should have just shut up after Kid Flash said this but he opened his mouth yet again,

"That's not what I meant about it!-I mean is!-I mean him!"

Aqualad pulled out one of his water generators and pointed it threateningly at the Man of Steel.

"You. Will. Leave." Aqualad growled coldly. M'gan nodded in agreement. Superman tried to look intimidating,

"Batman may have given you all his stamp of approval, but I'm not above disbanding this team permanently!"

"You have may be the leader of the Justice League but we answer to Batman only!" M'gan countered bravely, her pale-green face now turning a ferocious pink, "That means you have _no_ power over the fate of this team!"

The Man of Steel stood there with his mouth wide open. She was right. He had no jurisdiction over these teens. He knew that he was beat and went over to the Zeta tube before Zatanna chanted,

"_Og kcuf flesruoy!"_

Superman's look of confusion soon turned to horror when he looked down while a flash of light covered him completely and the feminine voice replied,

_"Recognize, Superman. 01."_

The moment Superman left, Robin gave an exhausted Zatanna a thumbs up, who grinned weakly before sinking back to the ground. Conner felt touched by the brave act of kindness that his friends just showed him. He wanted to laugh and...cry at the same time.

"I feel as if to speak for all of us when I say that Superman was scared-as you all say-shitless!" Aqualad replied calmly. This resulted in a good round of laughs from everyone in the room.

"Thanks for speaking up for me guys," Conner smiled weakly, "I wasn't expecting him to listen at all."

"Dude, you don't have to thank us. I'm just so sick and tired of Supes being a chicken around you!" Wally answered.

"You think he'll follow through with his threat?" M'gan asked tentatively, "About breaking the team apart?"

"Miss M," Robin grinned, "Supes would have to go through my mentor first. He can't even go over Bats' head without him finding out. We'll be fine!"

"I just wish we could knock him down a peg or two," Artemis growled, "Just to teach him a little humility!"

"Does this mean you'll help us?" Conner asked. The Team (excluding Robin) looked at him with confusion.

"Help with what?" Zatanna asked.

"You want to get back at Superman," Robin explained, "Conner and I are three steps ahead of you. You in for the ultimate prank?"

"Hell yeah!" Wally shouted. Cries of agreement quickly followed forth.

"Great," Robin smiled, "But first things first. I think it's time you knew Superman's identity..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Superman!" Wonder Woman snapped at the Man of Steel when she saw him in the Watchtower, "Have you no shame? Stop touching yourself!"

Superman looked like he wanted to cry as he struggled to keep his hands out of his pants, "Don't ask why, just get Zatarra!"

**In case you guys are confused, Zatanna's spells are just her speaking backwards. The first spell was "Bring us to the main hall!" and the other one was the classic "Go fuck yourself!" If the Justice League cartoon could get away with her saying "hell" backwards, then I see no problem here. As always, please review this story. It is the bread and water that keeps it alive. Thank you again for your support and happy readings!**


	7. Love?

**Hello fellow readers! It is your faithful storyteller here. I'm really glad with the support you are all giving me, especially mentioning favorites moments (like with Zatanna forcing Superman into an embarrassing situation, it was kind of a spur in the moment thing while I was writing the previous chapter.) Now that the Team is in on the plan, we can _finally_ have Part 1 of the payback plan occur. So this chapter will follow Superman right after his scene with Wonder Woman, and begin in his room. I think this chapter is going to be shorter than usual because not much is going to happen outside of an embarrassing moment for the Man of Steel. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights to "Young Justice" Belongs to DC Comics and Cartoon Network.**

**Chapter Six: Love?**

Superman flew into his room up in the Watchtower as fast as he could, trying to ignore the increasing laughter as Diana told the story of how he was forced to touch himself in an intimate place. While Zatarra was a big help with reversing the spell, even he had a hard time keeping his laughter to a minimum considering how his own daughter was the one who cast the spell in the first place. The magician never even thought of trying a spell like that before, which things even more interesting for him. The Man of Steel left the man with both his dignity and his pants ruined, needing to change before anyone else saw. It didn't help that the Flash saw him like that and took a picture before the Speedster could be stopped. Great! Now all of Facebook would think that Superman masturbated in his free time! What would Lois say if she saw that photo?

He supposed that he deserved this kind of punishment. Superman could find no excuse this time around, he only wanted to distract...him so the Man of Steel could leave quietly. Batman did say he had to go to Mount Justice that day, that was the only excuse he had so far. With his luck, Super-what's his name might be doing very well in school and might not need any assistance with his work at all. He underestimated Zatanna's powers though, in more ways than he had ever imagined as he quickly found out. Now he had deal with an angry group of teens tomorrow as well, wishing that he was fast enough to reach the Zeta tubes in time.

As the Man of Steel entered into his small room mulling over these thoughts, he started to smell something that reminded him of Bruce for some odd reason. He went over to his closet to pull out a back-up uniform considering how the outfit he was wearing was unique and could not be replicated at all. Unfortunately, all of his back-up clothes were not in their hangers. The only thing available was a fake Batsuit that he wore last Halloween as a joke. The only problem was that it had rubber nipples and a cod piece, which lead to him winning the prize for Most Insulting Portrayal of a Hero (which was merely a jack-in-the-box that threw a pie in his face when he used it the first time.) The looks that Batman (who was dressed as Zorro and won first prize) threw at Superman made him want to wet himself with shame.

As Superman looked into the closet, hoping to find a single suit he could wear, he saw a sticky note posted on one of the inner walls of the storage place. He pulled it out and instantly recognized the handwriting as Bruce's, the only person who would draw out the letter "s" nice and long:

_Superman,_

_If you are reading this, then you will know that I have taken all of your other clothes. They all needed a through washing, they were starting to grow mold in all of the wrong places. Don't worry, I'm not that cruel as to make you walk around wearing nothing...yet! Since you loved wearing my Batsuit so much last year, I thought it was only fair to let you use it again until further notice. I will deliver some emergency clothing to you ASAP. But before you walk away, there a few rules that you have to follow while you walk a mile in my shoes (no pun intended)! Rule One: You must talk like George Clooney and be civil. Rule Two: Everytime someone walks into the same room as you, show them your butt and do ridiculous poses. Rule 3: Only I'M Batman, don't act like me at all or like Superman since you aren't dressed like him at all. Basically, the only rule is to pretend you are Clooney in a terrible Batsuit, this includes staying in the outfit no matter how much you need to use the bathroom. Fear not, as this suit is_ very_ absorbent...unless you do something else in it that isn't liquid.__ Failure to comply to these demands will result in me humiliating you in the most cruel manner imaginable._

_Batman_

_P.S. In case you didn't figure it out yet, Smallville, this is _my _form of revenge for your recently stupid and cowardly behavior. Hope you didn't find out at this point or I'd be ashamed. Oh wait, no I wouldn't!_

_P.P.S. Give this letter to Robin at first notice so I may edit this letter for more occasions to come._

Superman growled with frustration at his friend's antics. Of course Batman would pull a dirty trick like that! He sighed, knowing that he had no other option considering the other choice would be to walk around and let everyone see what he did to himself. But wearing the rubber suit again was much worse! Realizing that if he didn't put on the suit that something worse might happen, the Man of Steel peeled out of his costume and reluctantly put the rubber suit over his body. It chafed his own nipples, gave him a wedgie worse than those that Robin might have had when he was nine, and he could barely turn his neck without the suit snapping his head straight again. This was going to be a long day ahead.

A flash of light brought Superman back to his senses, who managed to turn around just in time to see Flash zooming off. First a spell makes him masturbate, now he's practically forced to show off his body in the least sexy way possible. His eyes then noticed something on his bed. He walked over, cringing at the crinkling sounds his suit made and saw that it was another note, this time sealed in an envelope. The Bruce aroma seemed to be coming from this note. With great difficulty, Superman bent over and picked up the envelope, opening it with his elastic covered hands. The words written on this one were very unexpected:

_Dear Clark,_

_If you are reading this, then you have either read the other note or need to do so right now before continuing. You can find the other message in the closet where you usually keep your clothes. (Please read the other note before continuing this one.) Now that you are facing punishment for being a bad boy, it's time to meet me in my quarters for further discussion. Come alone and do not act like you usually do; remember, you must play the part of George Clooney right, as he is just an Oscar-winning actor. We need to discuss our feelings-our _true_ feelings- towards each other in the most honest way possible. I just want to let you know that you are my best friend-do not tell anyone this because I will deny it in public!-and that you mean so much to me. I act like as Queen calls it, a jackass, because that is just another mask I wear. Don't take this as a sign that I hate humiliating you because that is a lie! Sometimes, Daddy needs to teach you a lesson in humility._

_Love,_

_Brucie_

_P.S. Give the letter to Dick at first opportunity along with my other letter so he may dispose of it properly._

Superman started at the letter thinking only one thing that he was able to comprehend out of this letter. _Love?_

**End of the chapter. Sorry everyone, but I don't want to make these chapters so long yet not focusing enough on the story at hand. I think this is the way things are going to be from now on. Thank again for your support and I'll let Zatanna know what a badass she is in your eyes now. Keep reviewing and happy readings!**


	8. Recording of Our Two Dads

**Hello fellow people that love comedy! I have another chapter right here. Since there is another story I want to work on as well, I want to get in a great deal of chapters for this story in before the month ends. So I guess that means a new chapter every night! How cool is that? Also, to explain about the notes, only one of them was written by Batman. More will be explained in this chapter. Also, Superman will be referred to as Fake-Batman throughout this chapter in case you get confused. Thanks again for the reviews as always. Happy Readings!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Seven: Recordings of Our Two Dads**

This had to be another joke. There was no way that Bruce was flirting with him. This was probably another part of his revenge scheme by simply mind-fucking the Kryptonian senseless. Superman-no, wait!-Fake-Batman looked over the letter in his hand, only finding another little message on the back saying:

_Don't bother bringing up what I said on this letter at all when you see me. I know what I said and don't need a reminder from a corn-fed hick like you._

He sighed at his friend's antics, flinching as his suit squeaked with each movement he made. Fake-Batman prayed to God that no one would see him like this...but God also seemed intent on punishing the Kryptonian for his stupidity as well. No sooner had he walked out of his room did the poor idiot realize that he was surrounded by superheroes, who then proceeded to point and laugh at his face. Remembering the note, Fake-Batman turned around and showed everyone his butt, receiving cheers from the ladies and more laughs from the guys. Fake-Batman's face went red in shame, trying his best to cover all of that with a "Bruce Wayne" smile, like Dick showed him a few years back. Now all he had to do was not kill anyone and he'd be in the clear.

Each time a superhero passed him, Fake-Batman was forced to show them his backside, most of them laughed until they cried, but there were others like Black Canary who slapped him for being a "immature creep." Flash kept on coming back to take more pictures with the promise of posting _all_ of them onto Facebook. The Speedster didn't expect Fake-Batman to snatch the camera out of his grasp, however. Unfortunately, Green Arrow also took a lot of pictures and appeared to have heard about what happened with Flash and proceeded to upload all of his photos online immediately. When Captain Marvel saw him however, he stopped in his tracks and stood there with his mouth wide open in shock...it took several smelling salts and a chocolate bar to revive the Captain to his normal state. By the time Fake-Batman made it into the real Batman's quarters, he wanted to rip the man's head off. The Dark Knight's grin was too much for Fake-Batman now. He nearly screamed out,

"What the hell is your problem, Bruce?! Making me dress up like this!"

Bruce merely grinned at the spectacle before him. He went up to Fake-Batman and knocked him on the head a few times,

"You remember the instructions. Acting civil was apart of the instructions. That means no swearing whatsoever, _Batman_."

"Bullshit!" Fake-Batman declared, "George Clooney swore a lot of times in the movies that he's been in."

"Not while he was dressed like _that,_" Batman pointed out, "The time he wore that outfit was a low-point for his career. That stupid Schumacher clearly didn't know what he was doing when he made that film on Earth-97. Now stop making things worse for yourself before I decide to punish you further."

""How did you even get in my room in the first place?" Fake-Batman demanded. He knew Batman was still in Gotham by the time he reached Mount Justice, so it was very confusing for him. Even the excuse that he was Batman wouldn't be enough to explain the strange circumstances around the theft.

"Easy," Batman replied, "I had Alfred come up when no one was looking and take your wardrobe in a large bag. He also left you that note I gave you. It all took place in the morning, when the night-shift was around. I let them know that he was coming and to not tell you, and they complied. Apparently Green Arrow, Aquaman and Martian Manhunter seemed to be on my side in terms of Conner's needs."

_Two notes, actually_. Fake-Batman thought. _Not that you would admit it of course._

"What are you going to do to me as punishment?" Fake-Batman smirked, "Spank me? Teach me a lesson in further humility? Sounds a bit kinky even for you, to be honest."

"I'm seriously considering that right now!" Batman retorted, "Like I said in the letter, you've been acting naughty."

"I'm acting like a person would when they find out they are expected to be a parent!" Fake-Batman glared, "This is probably a common reaction for most people. Why are you making me look like the bad guy?"

"You are acting _naughty_!" Batman repeated, "I just got off the phone with Dick just now, demanding that I speak to you about your behavior just thirty minutes ago. I told you to apologize to Conner, not see him once and run off like a sissy girl!"

"At least I fulfilled _part_ of the agreement," Fake-Batman growled, "But you never said anything about stealing my clothes as punishment and making me wear _this!"_ He indicated the rubber suit he was wearing to emphasize the point he was making.

"I thought it was an appropriate punishment considering how your behavior was completely stupid and offensive in the first place," the Dark Knight explained, "Wasn't expecting you to need a wardrobe change this quickly though. What happened?"

"Apparently Zatarra wasn't joking when he said almost anything was possible if you said it backwards," Fake-Batman growled, "His daughter told me to do something horrible and I _did it_! When Diana saw me in my forced behavior, she looked like she wanted to slap me."

"What did you do that made Diana want to, as you said, slap you?" Batman asked curiously, his grin getting wider as he felt that the answer was on the tip of his tongue.

Fake-Batman blushed, "...Let's just say...it's something that...most teenage boys do...to themselves when they're alone..."

Batman's eyes widened before he lost it completely and collapsed on the floor laughing, slapping the floor beneath him very hard. _That_ explained the satisfied smirk on his son's face when he explained Fake-Batman (no, wait! Superman) calling Conner an it _again_!

"What did she say to you _exactly_?" Batman sounded curious once he recovered from his laugh attack, "Give me the details!"

"I think she told me to go fuck myself," Fake-Batman admitted. He quickly checked his hands to see if they were acting up at all, which they weren't. He then sighed in relief how his body was still in complete control.

Batman smirked again, but didn't laugh this time thankfully.

"What do you really think about me, Bruce? Be honest," the Dark Knight was caught off guard by Fake-Batman's next comment, but he hid it well enough. Was this Kansas idiot serious or was he trying to mess with his head "Robin" style?

Bruce looked very carefully at his friend for a few moments before replying, "To be honest, I think of you as my best friend. Probably more than that, actually. But-"

"-if I say this to anyone, you will deny it completely," Fake-Batman finished the thought for him, much to the Dark Knight's ire. He added, "I guess the feeling's mutual for me too. So why do you act like a jerk to me most of the time."

Bruce froze when he heard this question. This was going to be a _long _conversation...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Team listened to the conversation very eagerly in the comforts of the Cave. Thanks to Robin's friend, "Agent A," they had a bugged microphone in Batman's quarters, allowing them to hear every word that the World's Finest were exchanging and even record the words for future use. The first few minutes were awkward for Robin when Superman called Batman by his real name. He merely nodded to Wally, who then explained to everyone else who he was while the Boy Wonder slumped back into his chair with shame. If Batman ever found out about this...

_I believe that we have enough recorded to move forward with Phase 1,_ Aqualad decided through the mind link. They all decided that it was too dangerous to converse normally now with the cameras in the Cave. Robin erased the most recent footage of the others agreeing to help and merely replaced it with an old video of them sparring.

_This is going to be so much_ fun! Miss Martian beamed_ I never did a prank like this before! So what happens now?_

_What we do now, M'gan..._ Kid Flash began_ Is leave everything to the wizard._

_Does that mean Zatarra's in on this too? What happened to keeping allies to a minimum now? _Superboy questioned.

_He was referring to me, Conner. _Robin explained to his "cousin."

_Wait a sec! You're a wizard?! _Superboy's eyes widened with confusion.

_Nah._ Robin laughed,_ That's just another term for an expert. Since I'm the tech geek around here, I'm in charge of messing around with the words now. You guys can make suggestions for what sentences should be re-worded, while I plant a few breadcrumb trails to throw Bats off the scent. Let's see here; we'll use Red Arrow, Guy Gardner, Hal Jordan, Plastic Man, and also a few of Dad's business rivals to be on the safe side._

_Great! _Artemis grinned. She felt like she was going to burst with laughter right now and nothing outside of the rubber suit has happened yet!

_We'll need to stay a few steps ahead of Batman though. _Zatanna warned.

_All right! _Kid Flash cheered. _Go Operation: We Love Our Two Dads!_

_Hold on a sec. Does that mean you're _all _Kryptonian?!_ Superboy was getting confused. _NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE!__  
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**Here I thought that I wouldn't have a long chapter again and then I start writing. Just in case you are all wondering, Earth-97 is my reference to the year that "Batman and Robin" was released, much to the embarrassment of movie goers and Bob Kane. How did I do on this chapter? Did I do a good job by your standards? Is there anything you guys would like to suggest? Maybe where and when the edited audio recording will be revealed to the public? Any idea is a good idea, so don't worry about what you suggest as long as it does not involve actual shipping. This isn't going to be the type of story where Batman and Superman reveal themselves to be a couple in the end. Next update will come by tonight considering how it is past midnight right now and it is the 9th of December, 2014 and I've just finished writing this chapter after many distractions. Happy Readings!**


	9. The News Heard 'Round The World Part 1

**Greetings fellow fans! Now we can move forward even further with the revenge plan. First of all, I'd like to apologize to everyone for making you wait so long, I promise that the rest of the story will be filled with the revenge plan now dubbed 'We Love Our Two Dads' by our favorite Speedster. Also, I would like to confess that Batman calling someone 'naughty' repeatedly came from another story called "Life with Bruce Wayne" written by VictorianChik, whom I forgot to refer to last chapter. VictorianChik, if you are reading this, I am so sorry for stealing that quote in the first place and not even asking first. It will not happen again and I will take it out of Chapter 7 if you want it off. Also, should I be focusing an equal amount of time on the character development? Because now I'm wondering if everyone is coming off as flat and unoriginal Now back to the story.  
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**Disclaimer: All Rights to Young Justice Belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network.**

**Chapter Eight: The News Heard 'Round The World Part One**

Clark went into the Daily Planet the next day, still trying to recover from his conversation with Bruce yesterday. It turned out to be a very awkward conversation for both of them when the sounds of snickering were heard outside. Several moments later, the Man of Steel stormed out of Bruce's quarters wearing nothing but his boxers, the rubber suit torn to pieces at the Dark Knight's feet. There were many more flashes from cameras before Bruce stepped out and scared everyone away with a wordless roar.

As the reporter entered the building, he noticed how the secretary up front-what was her name? Lana? Lucy?-was looking at him with great interest, as if he were holding something very beautiful and was planning on showing it to her. Clark nodded her way, causing the woman to blink with great surprise. And before the elevator door closed behind him, Clark heard the secretary say,

"Congrats, you lucky bastard!"

The reporter didn't quite understand what the secretary was even talking about. Did Perry change his mind about the dumb cat story and decided to go with his own? Was it a promotion of some sort? Did he just win the lottery and was now as rich as Bruce? Wait, he never even bought a lottery ticket to begin with. The question soon became even more elaborate by the time Clark entered his office with Jimmy Olsen looking at him with an expression of shock. It was as if Jimmy was waiting for his friend to enter the room, considering how he looked so rigid standing in one place.

"Hey Jimmy," Clark responded, trying to defuse whatever situation he might have started, "How was your weekend?"

"Not as good as your, I'm afraid," Jimmy answered with his eyes darting all over the place, "So how did it happen?"

"How did what happen?" Clark was getting confused now.

"You know. Hooking up with someone like _that_!" The answer Jimmy gave still didn't explain a thing to Clark, "How'd you do it? Drugging him? Blackmail? _Pure__ luck?_"

"Jimmy, I have no idea who or what you are talking about," Clark was starting to get annoyed with his friend now, "So I'm just going to head to my desk and start working." And with that, he proceeded to walk away from a smirking Jimmy.

"Deny it all you want, Clark," Jimmy called out to his friend, "But I know you can't hide the truth forever. This is the Daily Planet after all, nothing can escape our sight!"

As Clark sat down at his desk, he noticed several of the female workers were staring at him too like some prized animal or something. One of them, a person that Clark had previously dated upon coming to Metropolis, looked like she was going to punch him. And when the woman walked up to him, Clark was actually expecting that sort of thing to happen. Instead, he found himself being splashed with hot coffee before the woman stormed off in angry tears, muttering how he "manipulated" her and that "he was no better than the guy he was with." Why was everyone thinking Clark was gay now?

When Perry came up to him however, the answer becoming a little clearer. The chief whispered into his ear,

"Just wanted to let you know that dating someone as rich as _that_ is just asking for trouble. Plus there's his kid to worry about if you're that committed already."

"Perry, I have no idea what you are talking about, so could you just _please_ tell me instead of beating around the bush?" Clark didn't mean to sound intimidating, he was just getting tired of everyone in the room assuming that he knew what they were talking about.

"Just check out the front page of _Gotham Star__s_ and your memory might be jogged a bit," was the only answer Perry gave him. His boss then handed the reporter the latest edition of _Gotham Stars_ with the caption: **INTIMATE** **LETTER FROM GOTHAM PRINCE WRITTEN TO METROPOLIS REPORTER?** Clark's eyes went wide with horror as he flipped open the magazine and found that the majority of the issue was devoted to this one letter. But that doesn't make sense! He gave the letter to Dick last night, who was still acting cold towards him, but then he remembered that they met at Bimbo's Diner and that he bumped into someone on his way out. Someone must have stolen it from the boy and gave it to the highest bidder. Must have obviously been those who ran the magazine that Clark was holding in his hands. He read only a paragraph of the article:

_Gotham's billionaire playboy has been well known by some of the world's most prominent women out there. But recent developments have shown that he might be seeing someone very different than his usual two or three girls. A letter was revealed showing Gotham's Prince mentioning "true feelings" and wishing to discuss them with this "Clark" mentioned. Rumor has it that the one that Mr. Wayne is referring to might be a fellow reporter from Metropolis, one that has had contact with the billionaire for almost ten years. If these rumors are true, then what does it mean? Have they been seeing each other for that long? Or did a recent heartbreak bring the playboy to his senses about where his true love lies? Considering how words like "punishment" and "bad boy" have been used in the letter, it might be clear that these two completely different men are on very _intimate _terms. It is unknown how Mr. Wayne's foster son, Richard John Grayson-Wayne, survivor of the Haly Circus Tragedy is dealing with this-_

Clark stopped reading when they began to talk about Dick, his own _nephew_! Although most of Gotham's high society had accepted Bruce's adoption decision four years ago as a permanent standing, the reporter feared that anytime someone mentioned Dick in a paper, they would try to milk out his tragic story all over again. Not that Bruce didn't do anything about it, he usually ended these things before they began in the first place. When he noticed Lois standing over his shoulder, Clark felt his face burn red with embarrassment.

"I see you read the news," Lois observed. She remarked sarcastically, "Congrats on making the front page of the Daily Planet by the way. It_is _what you wanted, right? You know, my mom always told me that things don't always go the way you plan them to. And now I understand why!"

Clark turned to face his ex-girlfriend and glared, "If you had _anything_ to do with this-"

"Don't look at me, Smallville. Gotham got the story first, not me!" Lois said indignantly, "Besides, if it was me, then you'd know right off the bat who was pulling the strings in the first place."

Clark could only groan. Why couldn't that weird letter form Bruce stay out of the public eye? Why did someone have to come up with their own conclusions about the intentions that the letter implied? Why didn't he just stay in Smallville in the first place and avoid all of this nastiness? This was all Bruce's fault!-wait a second! Bruce!-and so Clark rushed past Lois and avoided more looks as he realized that the billionaire would start asking questions to the reporter. Now all he had to do was find the phone and call him first before things got out of hand...

**Next part will involve Bruce's viewpoint of the incident happening right now, with Clark calling and making things worse. I admit that this isn't my best chapter so far, but I promised an update every day and here you have it. Speaking of chapters; how many more should I have before the story ends? I don't want this to go on forever, there are some other stories that I wish to write as well. I'd also like to give special thanks to ProtectorKorii for beginning to follow my tale. I have read their stories and feel honored that they are getting in on the story now. Thank you so much! As always, please review and give suggestions. Are these characters flat and one-dimensional at all? That's my newest concern as I don't want that to happen in this story. Happy Readings!**


	10. The News Heard 'Round The World Part 2

**Greetings! I am getting some good suggestions, but I don't know if I can use all of them unfortunately. I'd like to personally thank ProtectorKorii for their suggestions and encouragement. But enough of that now, let's see how Brucie is reacting to all of this.**

**Disclaimer: All Rights to Young Justice Belongs to DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Nine: The News Heard 'Round The World Part Two**

It was a normal beginning to that same morning in the Wayne household. Dick had to be dragged downstairs by Alfred because he overslept, Bruce had to be dragged _upstairs_ by Dick for sleeping in the Batcave too long, and Alfred had to be dragged into the kitchen to get oatmeal ready. And that was saying a lot, considering how Conner accidentally set the kitchen on fire the previous day (it had to do with a can-opener, don't ask!) and Alfred had to call Barry Allen afterwards to clean the mess up and avoid many confusing questions.

Alfred then drove Dick off to school while Bruce headed to Wayne Enterprises, as he was in fact the CEO of the company. Traffic was as usual, a enormous pain in the ass! Apparently, someone had decided to run a red light and caused a major car accident. And now Gotham's Prince was stuck for two hours in an immovable line of automobiles, listening to car horns and enduring a growing rash from sitting too long. It was just one of these days where Bruce wished that he could use the Batmobile and plow through all of these idiots who decide to make attempts at driving on sidewalks and only make things ten times worse.

By the time Bruce managed to escape the traffic backup from Hell, he was already late for work obviously and needed to go to the bathroom. The secretary in the entrance hall stared at him as Bruce made his way to the elevator and into his office before anyone noticed him and decided to give him a lecture about "setting an example for the other employees in the office" or something like that bullshit. The secretary tried to catch him before the elevator door closed and separated her from the CEO, but it just wasn't her day either as Bruce was already going up by the time she had reached the door. Now how was she supposed to tell Mr. Wayne about that pesky boyfriend of his repeatedly requesting to speak with him?

When Bruce got out of the elevator, he noticed Lucius Fox walking and decided to make an attempt at conversation with his right-hand man. But when Gotham's Prince reached the elder man, Fox noticed him and froze in his tracks, as if he were staring at someone thought long dead. Bruce took a step towards the man, only for Fox to say something the CEO would never expect to hear from a man like Lucius,

"There a phone call for you, Mr. Wayne. It's your so-called 'boyfriend' from Metropolis. Lady downstairs says that it sounds urgent from this guy's voice. Anything you'd like to make clear for me, sir?"

"Boyfriend?" Bruce could barely speak, "Lucius, I have no idea what you are talking about. Could you please explain?"

Lucius nodded, "I'll just get this month's issue of _Gotham Stars_ and you'll see why." And then he walked off into the hallway, disappearing into the oncoming crowd of women who looked like angry vultures. His "Bat-senses" tingling, Bruce slowly stepped back away from his workers until one person cried out, "Get him!" and proceeded to charge at him like a pack of rhinos. Now panicking, Bruce turned around and pelted into a run that would have most socialites in Gotham gasping for breath in a matter of seconds; luckily for Bruce, his training as Batman allowed him to run for a long time without stopping. I'd wish I could give a more specific number, buuut I'm not a scientist so use your imagination._  
><em>

"All of those years you've flattered us," one woman screamed at the top of her lungs while running, "And _now_ you have the nerve to show which team you're playing on. What kind of person are you?"

_I'm a playboy, lady, I'm supposed to look like a womanizer_, Bruce thought to himself as he forced himself to run a slower distance than usual to deflect attention and endured sharp nails scratching at his back and even his legs.

"That Kent figure's been pining for you all morning," another woman yelled, "What happened? Did you give him a good time or something? How did it feel letting someone dominate you, is it fun being on all fours?"

"Oh, that's rich!" One lady snorted sarcastically, "Bruce Wayne being the submissive type?! He's obviously the top in the relationship!"

This caused the angry mob to stop in their tracks, shocked at this woman's observation. Soon, the workers started taking sides on the matter. Other people nearby started making bets on how long it would take before they tore each other apart.

"That's very sweet of you to defend the man's position, Mary," the yelling woman from before snorted, "But I know Mr. Wayne can give into someone's whims if you press the right buttons."

"Where did you hear that shit?" The screamer glared at the yelling woman, "The Joker? Look at those muscles of his! He is clearly the dominant male in the relationship. What kind of rich man would let himself be conquered by a common reporter?"

"How cute," another woman interjected, "But I think Mr. Wayne is simply faking it. There's no way a guy like _that_ could maintain control. I hear that he can't even make breakfast without screwing up!"

"You're just saying this because you were his last _girlfriend!_" The screamer objected. This last statement let to both women attacking each other, both trying to tear at the other's dress or face. Catwoman would be embarrassed by their behavior, as they gave the term "cat-fights" a bad name. The others soon got into the act and the room was now dominated by chaos yet again.

"Yes!" A man cheered in the background, "Five minutes! Pay up losers."

But the man's co-workers were too focused on the fight to notice what he was saying. One man shouted, "Yeah, take your _tops_ off!" only to be dragged into the scuffle by some very offended women who proceeded to beat him up.

This moment in confusion allowed Bruce to go back into full speed and escape into his office, where Lucius was waiting for him. He would deal with those women in a few minutes after he armed himself to the teeth with the best weapons his office had to offer.

"I see the others expressed their opinions on the matter," Fox stated calmly, noticing the back of his boss's jacket torn apart.

"Very strongly," Bruce agreed, throwing off the now useless jacket across the room and letting it drop onto the carpet floor. He turned to face Lucius again, "Could you explain what's going on right now? An explanation before the women tear me apart would be nice."

"Let me just say for the record that I am not buying into this thing like the rest of those idiots in Gotham are doing this very moment," Fox began, "Someone decided to start yet another rumor about you and your sex-life, only this time they are doing it in a more scandalous manner. Apparently, they came across a letter written by you to that reporter friend of yours from Metropolis; a mister Kent I believe. _Gotham Stars_ even dedicated their entire issue towards this pathetic rumor and made it sound like you two are lovers. Now that Kent person has been trying to reach you all day, resulting in the ladies back there assuming that the rumors are true. And Kent's persistence is only making things worse as he has made _thirty-eight_ attempted calls."

"Thirty-eight?!" Bruce looked really pissed right about now. Kent really had no common sense when it came to gossip, and he was a _reporter_!

Lucius then went to the desk and took the phone off of the receiver, "Thirty-nine if you don't answer his calls."

**Annnnd this is where I will leave the story off. Don't worry, the last part will come tomorrow night. In case anyone gets upset, I will say that the "Take your tops off" line was borrowed from Mean Girls. Just wanted to get it out there. Like always, please feed the story with your reviews, be they talking about your favorite line or moment, to observations or suggestions for the story. Happy Readings!**


	11. The News Heard 'Round The World Part 3

**Welcome back to another chapter. This is the last part, so bear with me on this, people. Once again, I would like to hear your thoughts for how long I should keep writing this, because I don't want to keep droning on forever but still want to entertain you all fairly. Should 5-10 more chapters be enough to satisfy everyone? Just putting it out there. Let's get back to the story then.**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Ten: The News Heard 'Round The World Part Three**

Bruce picked up the phone and punched in the number as fast as he could, almost breaking the poor device in the process (he's the goddamn Batman, remember?) and had to wait for a whole minute before he could hear that voice Bruce found both relaxing yet irritating at the same time,

"Bruce! I've been trying to call you all morning!" Clark's voice sounded so urgent, Bruce would have been worried if the situation was different. He also sounded like he was out of breath, which was unusual considering how the Man of Steel had great invulnerability.

Bruce kept his voice level as he spoke by simply imagining the Joker begging for mercy at his feet, "I just heard about it from Lucius and I need to say-"

"Did you have anything to do with the things they're saying about us right now? This is not like you at all, Bruce! Is this some kind of attempt to cover your identity?" Clark interrupted him, his voice raised above average and sounded more hysterical than before. Bruce could faintly make out the sounds of other people on Clark's side and he suspected that the reporter was going through the same problem that Gotham's Prince was enduring at the moment.

Bruce tried speaking again, "You know that I'm not as dumb as to-"

Yet Clark just wouldn't shut up for even a second, "If this is about Super-I mean Conner, then I'm sorry, I'll make things right tomor-"

"Kent, first of all SHUT THE HELL UP!" Bruce cut off the reporter before he could be interrupted again. Lucius jumped at the sound of his boss's voice, not expecting him to go all Batman in the workplace. The billionaire could almost _see_ Clark's reaction on the other side as being frightened, "Second of all, I was in traffic for two whole hours so I was late for work and almost ended up being torn apart by the women that work for me. Thirdly, this was not my idea! I just found out literally three minutes ago and I tend to serve revenge in a more sadistic manner so you should know that without asking me! And fourth and most important of all, even if this was my idea, I wouldn't do something as idiotic as making us look like lovers! Where's the proof anyways?"

"The letter you gave me yesterday," Clark gasped on the other line, "I gave it to Dick so he could dispose of it properly and I think someone snatched it from him!"

"What are you talking about, Kent?" Bruce was getting confused now. And only the Riddler was allowed to do that to him if it served a purpose. He continued, "I only gave you one letter and that was about the suit, nothing more."

"No," Clark disagreed, "I saw two. They were both in your handwriting. The other one even had that stupid cologne you put on every day! It's the stuff you use to make Diana and the others go bonkers! If this isn't your idea of a joke, then are you making a pass at me?"

"Kent, I am not gay!" Bruce barked, "And even if I was, you wouldn't be my idea as a husband or a boyfriend for that matter!"

"Who would it be then?" Clark asked sarcastically, "Dick?"

There was a long moment of silence as Clark realized how perverted that sounded. It was meant to be a joke, considering how a rumor was started several years ago by Killer Moth about how Batman and Robin were actually in a romantic relationship. That poor villain never stood a chance against the combined wrath of the Dynamic Duo and swore never to start a rumor again. That comment was so wrong on too many levels. Dick was Bruce's son! He could hear the billionaire's nostrils flare with cold fury and Clark knew that best thing to do now was to simply hang up and run the hell out of the Daily Planet before Bruce caught him and tortured him to insanity.

"When. I. Find. You. ...Pray for Mercy!" Bruce declared in a deadly whisper. Clark didn't know if he was imagining it or not, but he felt his pants grow wet just as he heard those words. The reporter slammed the phone back into its place and tried to make it back to his desk before anyone noticed the state his khakis were in.

Back at Wayne Enterprises, Bruce felt the phone in his hand crumble to bits and ignored the small trickle of blood that streamed down his arm. He was going to have a chat with Alfred later...

XXXXXXXXXX

"Alright," Alfred muttered to himself as he placed the incriminating evidence in Green Arrow's room underneath the bed, just how the archer would usually try to hide things. Now that the cologne bottle was replaced with an exact replica sitting in Mater Bruce's room unopened like the previous one was, Alfred could place more bread crumb trails leading to several other people.

Luthor would become a main suspect as he had the motive (trying to outdo Wayne Enterprises even through means of damaging the company's reputation as well as the people to copy the handwriting in the first place. Miss Lane offered herself as a sacrificial lamb but Master Conner had the brilliant idea of making Doctor Hugo Strange from Arkham into another false lead since he knew Batman's identity while Master Richard made another trail leading to Two-Face, as he hated the billionaire with a vengeance. Now all Alfred had to do was wait for Master Bruce to come home and accuse him of the prank so the butler could say, "Ah, yes. Because the butler is always the one to blame!" and not even regret saying those words at all.

It was a wonderful thing too, other people could have easily gotten into Superman's quarters if Alfred "accidentally" left the door unlocked so that someone could go in there and planted whatever they pleased in the room. Master Richard's hacking skills were often overlooked by Master Bruce, as not only did the boy delete the footage showing the butler placing the second letter on the bed, but he also edited it with several clips of other heroes entering the room by using old footage from several months ago. Considering the fact how Master Clark was inviting other heroes into his room for private conversations at the time, it made things a lot easier on the Boy Wonder rather than create new footage from scratch. He even went as far as to do the same for the rest of the footage showing Alfred walking around in the Watchtower wearing his special domino mask to "protect" his own identity as Master Bruce called it.

The next stage of the plan would have to take place in three days so to add onto the "evidence" before people lost interest. The Team was currently making the third stage of the plan with Miss M'gan's mind-link abilities, so to avoid suspicion and make it easier on Master Richard so he wouldn't have to edit _everything_! No one would be able to see their lips moving; and even if they were, it wouldn't be about the plan, but rather something else. They could work on it anytime of the day; during sparring, downtime, even during missions if they had the time to do so.

It really is true what they say about children then; they grow up far too fast to their parents' liking. Master Richard and Master Conner truly planned this out like generals...too scary even for _this_ old man!

**That's the end of this chapter. Did you guys enjoy Alfred's POV? I decided to keep it at third-person perspective without using the words "I" or "me" or any other terms that would be used in a more normal POV reading. These chapters are getting shorter, I know. But my laptop does have its limits too. Plus I can't make every chapter around 2 thousand words a piece. As always, please review and wait for the next update tomorrow. Happy Readings!**


	12. Beginning The Second Phase

**Hey everyone. Here is another chapter to our beloved comedy series. This time, we are moving back to see Robin's perspective and watch as Phase Two starts unfolding. This will be longer than some of the other chapters, so you might be spending more than ten minutes now. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Eleven: Beginning the Second Phase**

Dick stepped into Wayne Manor later that day, having relished in a rather interesting day at school. Apparently, having "two dads" was good enough to become an automatic chick magnet and he ended up being surrounded by multiple girls all day. While it was nice, it made getting to classes on time an even bigger pain in the ass considering how many girls were both flirting with him and kept on getting in his way. But Dick quickly learned how useful it became after some guys tried bulling him for hogging the spotlight and attempted to tease him for having a "fag" for a dad. No sooner had the jerks grabbed his collar did they find themselves being pulverized by the very females they were trying to win back. Some were even offended by their comment towards Dick and kicked them in the crotch for a more painful experience. Artemis was able to video-record the incident without needed to get in close. She had to fight the urge to laugh while she did this though and Dick swore that when she passed him that he heard Artemis say,

"We'll laugh about this someday."

His new adoring fans even offered cookies or sandwiches just to keep Dick's attention on them. They simply cooed over him and kept their gazes on him. They laughed at all of his jokes, agreed with everything that he said, even followed his every order even when Dick didn't mean what he said. It was some sight to see twenty-odd girls hopping on one leg for the next thirty minutes.

Even the teachers seemed to be treating him differently because of the _Gotham Stars_ issue; his math teacher (who was a woman) decided to spend all of the period demonstrating the importance of the number 69 (don't ask), history became a pity-party since the teacher feared that the name Wayne would die out biologically speaking, even science was spent trying to understand how hormones could be different in some males or females. And all classes even decided to exclude Dick from any homework that the class was forced to suffer through the night because of any "stress from the current situation." Barbara claimed that it was a pathetic thing for everyone to make a big deal over, as the supposed "relationship" between Gotham's Prince and Clark Kent didn't change Dick whatsoever. Dick pointed out that she was one to talk, considering how she dealt the most damage to the idiots harassing him in the first place.

It was going to be a tough thing to explain to Alfred about why his boxers had become two sizes too big in the short time of eight hours when the laundry was going to be washed that night.

Dick entered the kitchen and snatched two peanut-butter cookies off the counter, relishing in his favorite snack in all of it's salty-sweet glory as he walked off into the Batcave. Alfred sighed at the young teen's failure to keep the crumbs from his snack off of the floor and went to get the vacuum cleaner. A clean house was a happy house after all!

Free from the usual three hours worth of homework, Dick decided to spend his unusual freedom by practicing on the trapeze Bruce set up in the cave three years ago. All of the swinging and somersaulting in the air helped get rid off the stress that the Boy Wonder was holding in for the pass few days. Now that Phase One was done, he and Conner could proceed with Phase Two on the operation. He was so caught up with his routine that Dick failed to take notice of the unusually loud grunts that slowly made their way down into the cave. It wasn't until a tired voice called his name that Dick stopped what he was doing and almost fell down into the safety net below.

When Dick looked up, he almost had a heart attack as he saw his foster father covered in scratches and looked like he was hit by a tornado. The business suit that Bruce usually wore was now only good for cleaning rags. The moment that Dick tentatively placed a hand on Bruce's shoulder, the coat and pants simply gave in and collapsed onto the ground. Now the billionaire was left standing in his briefs, which was bad considering how cold the Batcave could become.

Dick smirked, "Is that the Wonder Woman symbol I see adorning your underwear?"

"Shut up and call Alfred down here!" Bruce hissed.

"You sure you don't want to put on something warm first?" Dick replied slyly, "After all, what would dear Alfie say if he saw the example you were setting in front of me during-"

"I said to get Alfred!" Bruce barked in a louder voice. Dick jumped in his shoes and proceeded to get the butler down with some extra clothing for the older man. When he returned with Alfred, the old man simply gaped in shock at seeing his employer wearing nothing but his briefs. The shock was soon replaced with giggles as Alfred noticed what the undergarments were covered with, not even going away when the Dark Knight gave a warning growl. The old man went too far however, when he pulled out a camera and attempted to use it and have a batarang thrown at it and destroy the small piece of technology.

"No cameras," Batman growled, "Period!"

"Of course, sir," Alfred said dryly, "Now set a better example for Master Richard and get some clothes on. I will not tolerate stripping even in the Batcave."

"Wait," Dick replied, "I think Bruce wanted to talk to me first. What happened to you anyways, old man? Did Catwoman pay you a visit?"

Bruce stared at his son for a few moments before replying, "Women. And you?"

"Same," Dick replied, "Except I wasn't used as a scratching post. Why were you torn apart?"

"Did you hear the news yet?" Bruce asked.

"You mean how you and Uncle Clark are now an item?" Dick pondered for a moment, "Yeah, I did. I was going to ask you why you never told me about this before the news got-"

"I was going to ask what letter Kent gave you yesterday!" Bruce growled, "If you had _anything_ to do with my crappy day, I swear-"

"Relax, Bats. Keep your tights on," Dick said calmly, "I have no idea what you are talking about. Uncle Clark gave me an envelope and told me to 'do what I was supposed to do with it' and all that jazz."

"So you know that someone 'bumped' into you moments later?" Bruce pressed on.

"To be honest," Dick confessed, "I didn't even know it was missing until I got back last night. But I thought it wasn't important until I read that article this morning."

"I've heard _that_ one before," the Dark Knight glared.

"What? The 'I didn't know it was missing' part? Or the 'I have no idea what you are talking about' excuse?" Dick asked.

"The second one," Bruce replied, "Because of that article, all of the female staff tried tearing me apart and I'm their boss!"

"You do realize that we are in Gotham, sir?" Alfred deadpanned, "Where clowns are murderers and children can run around in tighty-whities without being asked why?"

"Not now, Alfred!" Bruce warned, "You're next after I'm done with Dick!"

"And why is that, sir?" The butler asked innocently.

"Because I know you two are plotting against me and I'm going to prove it!" Declared the Dark Knight.

"Yeaaah," Dick said slowly, "While you do that and go crazy with the lack of evidence, I'm going to Mount Justice. If that's okay with you, that is..."

"Not until you finish your homework," Bruce smirked.

"No worries," It was Dick's turn to grin, "I don't have any. Guess it's one of the perks of having two dads. Bye!"

"I am NOT married to that idiot!" Bruce shouted out to Dick as the teen rushed upstairs. When Alfred was certain that Dick was gone, he turned to his employer, who then turned a light shade of pink,

"Now then, sir. I _insist_ that you show some dignity in your father's house and wear something other than those fan-boy undergarments. And I also wish to as you something else. Were you trying to blame me for you problems simply because I am a _butler_?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_Recognize, Robin. B02."_

"Hey Conner," the Boy Wonder greeted the young Kryptonian.

"Hey Rob," Conner greeted back eagerly, "M'gan's in the living room if you want to talk to her."

Understanding the hidden message, Robin nodded and headed towards the living room where everyone else was sitting down in front of the newly repaired TV as it played Chicago. Artemis winked at him, clearly still relishing in the events earlier that day. Wally saw this action and glared at her suspiciously before going back to enjoying his large plate of nachos. Kaldur was in deep conversation with Zatanna, possibly talking about yesterday's spell by the way they were laughing loudly. Conner sat down and patted on the cushion next to him, signally for Robin to sit down next to him. As he did this, Robin felt the cool sensation of M'gan's mental touch reaching out to him before the usual echoing noises filled his head.

_Great. _M'gan spoke. _Now that everyone's here, we can get down to business._

_To defeat...the huns! _Wally chanted out of nowhere. Everyone stared at the Speedster, who then proceeded to eating his snack again.

_Yes. _Kaldur agreed. _Now that Phase One is complete, Phase Two shall commence soon enough. Robin, how much time do you need before the recordings from yesterday are completely ready._

_Depends._ Robin admitted. _Might need another day or two before we can send it out on the air. Good amount of time too, it'll be spicious._

_Spicious? _Artemis raised her eyebrows. _You mean like the opposite of-_

_Suspicious. _Conner answered. _Right?_

_Yep._ Robin confirmed. _Good guess, Conner._

_So where should we upload the "evidence?" _Zatanna asked. _It's not like we can use the computer here and not get caught!_

_You are right, Zatanna._ Kaldur agreed. _Our best option is to do it somewhere else to draw the attention away from us._

_True. Bats just finished interrogating me just five minutes ago._ Robin explained. _We could try Metropolis. Lois could have it uploaded in the Daily Planet._

_But that would mean _she_ would become the main suspect! _Conner exclaimed. _Lois is tough, but I don't want her to deal with that much heat! Why can't we do it in another city?_

_Hello Megan! _M'gan startled everyone slightly as she jumped up. Luckily, this was during the end of the "Funny Honey" number so it looked like she was cheering, especially since she squeaked with glee. _Why don't we just upload the recording in the Watchtower? That way, it would look like there was a mole in the Justice League!_

_Oh please! Not the "mole" thing again!i Artemis groaned. Plus, that would draw more attention to that butler guy Robin's been telling us about. And how are we supposed to get in there without the computers detecting us?!_

_Don't look at me. I'm not hacking their system again! _Robin declared as everyone looked at him.

_How about M'gan disguises herself as someone on the Justice League and hands the recording file to the Daily Planet? _Wally suggested. _And it we make sure that the person M'gan disguises herself as is in the city in the same area...-_

_Then we could deflect the attention onto that person! _Robin finished. _KF, you're a genius!_

_Oh stop it, you're embarrassing me! _Wally said sarcastically.

_His brain is as big as his ego..._ Artemis observed sarcastically.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, back at the Watchtower...

"Tell me why you were in my room!" Superman pounded at the interrogation table and left a large dent in the metal. The next person he was questioning was Green Arrow, who did not look even a little scared. In fact, he was not amused at all with the Man of Steel.

"Look Supes," Green Arrow began, "First off, I was nowhere near your room yesterday. And second off, just because you dressed like Batman does not mean you ARE Batman!"

"Then maybe you should get the real deal!" And evil voice whispered in the archer's ear.

The screams were so loud, that Black Canary made a mental note to herself to copyright her "Canary Cry" and sue the wannabe in the process.

**I made true on my word, this was longer than the previous chapters you've received and around the same length like in the beginning. To anyone who was offended by my usage of the word, fag, I had no intentions of hurting anyone's feelings and apologize. It was just used to make those guys sound more like real douchebags. If anyone is confused, Chicago is a Broadway musical that was turned into a film in 2002 that won Best Picture and "Funny Honey" is the second song in the show (excluding the Prologue, that is). I am probably taking the day off tomorrow so I can relax a little and let this chapter sink in. But I will be back around Sunday afternoon or evening, so don't worry. Keep Reviewing and Happy Readings!**


	13. Trolling With Wonder Woman

**Alright, I lied... It has been two days since my last update, but my excuse is that I was trying to unwind a little after coming home for Christmas break and not update as part of my relaxation plan. I'm so sorry about that. Other than that, thank you for the wait everyone. I noticed that my chapters are a bit short for my liking, so my goal is to write at least two thousand and five hundred words per posting, so to get more of the story out there and to satisfy my own expectations for writing. To answer Anime hotty lover.18's question about the fourth chapter; yes, it was a reference to Ouran High School Host Club. I guess it was in the back of my mind when I wrote it. R&R!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Twelve: Trolling With Wonder Woman**

"I'm telling you the truth!" Flash cried in his seat, "I swear I'm innocent! Do I look like the type who would do something as crazy as _that?_

If there was any sympathy for the Speedster, Superman and Batman weren't feeling any at the moment. They had been interrogating heroes for the past three days now; and so far had come up with nothing that brought them closer to finding the culprit. The Team was obviously in the clear, considering how there was no video-tape evidence that incriminated them in any way nor was there any signs of them even near the Watchtower at the time of the incident. But the Dark Knight still wasn't satisfied and wanted to keep at them for the next forty-eight hours, but Superman put his foot down at the suggestion. Which was good considering how Miss Martian was in tears for the next three hours after Batman was done with her, making the Dark Knight the second worst person in the Justice League next to Superman now.

Now all they could do was go through the small amount of evidence that they had, which was merely security camera recordings of several different people going into Superman's room. The past suspects that were cleared off of the list were: Green Arrow (who screamed so loudly that Batman decided he was too wimpy to start the rumors in the first place), Captain Marvel (who really was peeking into Superman's room because he saw "Agent A" and got suspicious), Red Tornado (who was excused because he couldn't grasp the concept of "pranking" since he was a robot in the first place, making his interrogation the shortest out of all three) leaving the Flash as the only remaining suspect available for an interview.

If you could call being screamed at by two different heroes an interview at all...

"Face it, Flash!" Batman barked at him, "You have the means to do so. You have the brain to accomplish this. And you also have the motivation for making life harder for us than they need to be!"

"Alright then," Flash puffed sarcastically, "Then tell me what my motivation is, Mr. World's Greatest Detective. I'm waiting." Saying these words appeared to have brought back the hero's courage and even sit straighter than usual. However, one Bat-glare soon made the Speedster cower in his seat again. So much for courage...

"You couldn't stand being in our shadows," the Dark Knight growled, "Always second fiddle to us by comparison-"

"Not being the strongest or the smartest," Superman pointed out.

"And let's not forget how much more the two of us have accomplished compared to you," concluded Batman. He shared a small grin with the Kryptonian, only to hear their suspect being laughing hysterically before them. Flash started banging on the table very hard, not even another Bat-glare would quiet him down long enough. He'd only stare at them for a few seconds before doubling over in even more laughter than ever.

"That's _so_ cute that you two think you know me so well! Ha, ha ha!" The Flash howled with glee, "But you're- heh! heh! heh!- missing a few things. Ha! Ha! I'm not jealous of either of your reputations. Gives me -heh! heh!- gives me more privacy then _either_ of you combined since your both so famous! Second: _who says I'm _not_ the strongest or smartest?!_ If any -ha! ha! ha!- I'm faster than the Man of Steel himself! As for the third thing, who say's I _haven't _accomplished more than either of you? I'm married while you two are still bachelors and therefore, more likely to be victims of gossips. Plus it shows I can hold a woman better than you two can! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

He ignored Batman's fists as they bashed into the metal table and left two deep dents in them while Superman's face started looking like a tomato. Flash took a deep breath and continued, "Seems to me like its the other way around; you two have the reasons for wanting to make me miserable. People have no reason to feel afraid or intimidated by yours truly, since I'm both lovable and not as violent. I have title for 'Fastest Man Alive,' that's good enough for me. Not to mention that I'M MARRIED AND _YOU'RE NOT!_ HA! But look at the bright side, guys-"

"What bright side?!" Batman demanded from the Speedster.

"At least you two have each other!" Flash declared before breaking down into laughter again. But his victory was cut short as Batman sprayed him with something green-looking...

"AHHHHHHH!" Flash's laughter was soon replaced with cries of terror, "NOT THE ROLLER-COASTERS! IRIS, I HATE BEING UPSIDE DOWN! STOP THIS INFERNAL MACHINE! OH GOD! NOW THEY'RE CHASING ME INTO THE LOVE BOATS! WALLY IS MAKING OUT WITH...IS THAT ARTEMIS?! NO WALLY, DON'T UNZIP YOUR PANTS! AT LEAST USE A CONDOM FOR GOD'S SAKE! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BECOME A PARENT, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL YET! HER WATER BROKE!? I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!" Right as he said this, Flash's cheeks started puffing up and his face started growing green too. Sensing what would happen, Batman dragged a trash can up to the Speedster and pressed a needle into his colleague's arm. The Speedster's face relaxed for a few moments as the fear-toxin was neutralized, but became green again and relieved his system all over Batman's costume. The Dark Knight was not amused by this and was about to unleash his wrath on the sick Flash when a phone rang.

"Ugh," Flash groaned, "That's my phone. I'll get it. ...Hey Dinah, what's up?...Uh huh...But Batman just...no, I can explain...are you serious!?...Please, we can talk about this!...fine!...Yeah, yeah...Hey, don't you have an archer to bang or something?" Those last words were a mistake as the room was suddenly filled with a loud screech, breaking Flash's phone in the process.

Superman looked at the pale Speedster with a mixture of guilt and sympathy, clearly wishing that this interrogat-interview had gone better than it should have. He spoke slowly, "Okay, you're free to go then. By the way, what was Dinah calling you about that was so serious?"

Flash glared at both heroes, "She heard me scream and is now suing more for copyright violations on my quote on quote 'Canary Cry ripoff.' Oh, and Bats? Not sorry about the mess all over your suit, you deserved it!" And with that, he sped off out of the room leaving a embarrassed Superman and a vomit-covered, steaming Batman in his midst.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Metropolis found itself under siege yet again by the likes of Livewire and Killer Frost. They were both currently going on a rampage in the Bank of Metropolis, looting highly secured vaults and terrorizing random patrons as well. Naturally, Robin was on the case and hacked into the Watchtower computers to advance Phase Two. He found the missions, saw that Wonder Woman went to Metropolis instead of Chicago like she was originally supposed to, and erased all signs that he was even on the system all in five minutes. Now all he had to do was snap M'gan out of her funk and transport her to Metropolis without anyone being the wiser about it.

_Come on, M'gan._ The Boy Wonder pleaded with the teary Martian through their mind-link. _We can't do this mission without you, you're the only one who can transform into Wonder Woman and pull off the act_.

_Oh yeah?_ M'gan sniffed. _Then why don't you dress up like her since you sound so confident about it?_

_Because that's not in my resume and I'm a horrible Thespian._ Robin explained. He omitted the part where he _used_ to disguise himself as a female, but that all change for the better thanks to puberty.

_I thought only women could be lesbians._ Conner pondered, interrupting what was supposed to be a private conversation.

_I said _Thespian_ not _lesbian_! _Robin snapped rather rudely towards his "cousin.' _I'm sorry, just trying to cheer up Miss M right now. Just try using Sphere to lure Wonder Woman towards the designated area and we'll do the best._

_Roger __Dodger! _Conner saluted to the Boy Wonder and whistled for Sphere, an artificial being rescued from Bailya by the Team perviously. When Sphere rolled over to it's- now considered a "her" by Conner- companion and exited through the Zeta-tubes. No sooner did the familiar feminine voice announce their departure did M'gan go back to her "I can't do it" rant.

_I never really met Wonder Woman before._ sobbed M'gan, _How am I supposed to act like her if I barely know the woman? And...what if...Batman finds me and...tries to make me crack again!?_ No sooner than these words got out of her mouth did M'gan break down in front of Robin, dreading another round of "Batman the Torturer."

Robin knelt down beside his friend and placed an arm around her shoulder, doing his best to give her comfort. She leaned into the warm touch and soon made a wet spot on part of Robin's uniform from all of the crying. It wasn't like Robin wouldn't say anything to cheer her up, it was just that he never got enough of this form of comfort from Bruce, so he was at a loss over what to do rather than pat her back awkwardly.

Luckily for him, Robin got some unexpected aid from a familiar source...though the tactic was rather unorthodox.

"Could someone help me with my corset?" A false female voice rang out, "Hera knows that its a two-man job. And I'll also need help with my lasso. It could be put to _good_ use later on if you're interested." When Robin and Miss Martian heard this, they turned around to see Kid Flash dressed in a very good Wonder Woman outfit. The boots and breastplate were designed perfectly, and it came with a girdle and wig as well. And Robin could swear that there was lipstick on his best friend's face. Somehow, Wally could walk around in those boots really well despite Robin knowing very well that it wasn't the case. He was enjoying this one time of utter stupidity and while he laughed, Robin wished he had brought in his camera today. M'gan seemed to be enjoying this spectacle as she began giggling hysterically at the Speedster's good portrayal of the Amazon.

It wasn't until Wally was three feet from Robin's face did the Boy Wonder understand that something terrible was going on. The Speedster continued to speak in that fake girl voice again, "Hey there, Wonder Boy. How's about you and I do some naughty things behind old Brucie's back?" Robin finally had enough and punched his friend very hard in the stomach, which forced the Speedster to the ground. It was only a few moments before Wally woke up, his eyes widening with horror.

"ZATANNA, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME! GET ME OUT OF THIS COSTUME AND I'LL TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT MAGIC NOT EXISTING!" Wally screamed. When he finished screaming more random things, he looked around and turned red as M'gan laughed even harder than before. Wally looked up at Robin, "Did you just hit me?" Robin nodded numbly before he noticed his friend hugging him very tightly and saying, "Oh thank you, Rob. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Zatanna was controlling me with another spell of hers and you saved me when you-"

Wally's many thanks were cut short by another punch to the gut and fell down as he tried moving back, only to lose balance on the boots that he was still currently wearing.

"How the hell do women walk in these things anyhow?" Wally demanded to no one in particular as he wiped off the make-up on his face. He then proceeded to take off his boots and threw them as far away from him as he could.

_Alright. _M'gan decided out of nowhere. _I'll do it. And if this works, then I'll get back at Batman myself for all of the crying he put me through. Thanks, Wally. I feel a lot better._

_No problem, babe._ Wally smiled sheepishly. _Maybe we can work a little more magic together later, if you're up to it.__  
><em>

_How about you shut it, KF, before I convince Zatanna to do this again later on. _Robin warned.

The Speedster put his hands up in surrender and proceeded to dash out of the room barefoot.

_Don't worry about it, Miss M. _Robin replied brightly. _I'll come with you and feed lines through an earpiece. I know Wonder Woman pretty well by now, so there should be no problem in terms of talking. You just need to stay calm and walk with dignity, just like a princess._

_A princess._ M'gan repeated to herself. _Got it._

_Then off to Metropolis we go!_ Robin declared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The man didn't know what to say when he learned that the client he was meeting up with was no other than Wonder Woman herself. He was even more speechless when he heard _her_ say that she was giving him the recordings free of charge. If one more incredible thing happened because of her, then the man would convert to Hellenism right then and there!

It was when he remembered that he had a camera did the man ask the heroine to take a photo with her. And she did! Now he could post it on Facebook and be the center of attention for once! A woman like her is able to take down Livewire, Killer Frost, _and _still have enough time to help out the common man!? It was official. The man was going to pray to the Olympic Gods from now on...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Diana entered the Watchtower later that night, battered and exhausted from the day's battle _and _trying to help poor Superboy keep his new "friend" under control as it rampaged throughout the east side of Metropolis, she was planning on taking a nice bath and probably interact with J'onn if the Fates were kind enough to allow conversation with good friends. What she _wasn't_ expecting however, was for Bruce and Clark to be standing right in front of her with their arms crossed and glaring daggers at her.

"Diana," Bruce said coldly, "Could you please come with us? We have some things to talk about with you..."

**And th-th-that's all folks. In case you're wondering, Hellenism is basically the name of the religion for those who believe in the Greek Gods. There's a more thorough definition on Wikipedia. Also of note is Wally being hypnotized. It just came to me while I was writing this chapter and I decided to use the Potter Puppet Pals episode, "Dapper Ron" as the basis for Wally's strange behavior. Thank you, Neil Cicierega, for creating this funny series and giving me some unintentional inspiration in the process. Since people were asking for Zatanna to do something else with her magic, I decided to go with Wally dressing up as Wonder Woman. Leave comments if you have something on your mind and the next chapter will (hopefully) come tomorrow night. Happy Readings!**


	14. The Meeting of the Kents Part 1

**This is the second time that I've failed to update fast enough to your liking (in my mind at least.) Other than that, 40 reviews? Wow! Can we get it to 50 before the story ends? I know there are a lot of people out there who like reading these stories, so don't be afraid to say what you want about this. I'm really glad how popular this story has become to some people and feel happy to bring some laughs out of you guys. Let's keep up the good word. This chapter is from the same guest reviewer who gave me the outline for the "He Doesn't Like Being Called An It" chapter. This will basically include the rest of what they suggested, though not all of it came through due to limits. Thank you again, guest reviewer who I wish could call them by something else, for this wonderful chapter idea. Also, is it all right if I call you Bob? For Bob Kane?**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Warning: Sexual References of Rated PG-13 to R Material**

**Chapter Thirteen: The Meeting of the Kents Part 1**

Superboy couldn't pay much attention to the news lady from the Gotham News Network, he only cared about hearing the recent "breakthrough" in the Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent rumors. The Team had stared at the TV with bated breath for the past hour, using the "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." show as a cover for seeing the breaking news that they all expected to happen before the hour was up. Only five minutes ago, did the news report gods decide to let the young heroes see their work shown on the big screen. But the outcome did sound both funny and at the same time, disturbing. It was almost like a dark comedy.

_"What the hell is your problem, Bruce?! Making me dress up like this!"_

_"You remember the instructions. Acting civil was apart of the instructions. That means no swearing whatsoever, _Batman_."_

_"Bull-"_

_"No swearing."_

_"What are you going to do to me as punishment? Spank me?"_

_"Yes. You've been acting naughty."_ Sounds of movement and squeaking rubber filled the air momentarily before being replaced with:_ SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! _Instead of cries of pain, moans of pleasure could be heard from the offender.

_"Ow! Harder, make me feel like a bad guy!"_

_SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! "Alright, We're done."_

There is a long pause that is filled with strange panting sounds. They sound dog-like, almost as if the two men were acting animal-like at the moment...

_What do you really think about me, Bruce? Be honest."_

_"To be honest, I think of you as my best friend. Probably more than that, actually. But-"_

_"-if I say this to anyone, you will deny it completely. So why do I hear that you **** at the thought of me most of the time?"_

_"Because I have a house big enough where no one will notice me..."_

_"Oh, ha ha. Adorable, Bruce."_

_"I'd say the same to you, though you're just making me horny right now."_

The sounds of moaning and lips connecting fill the air, the sound of rubber moving makes it all the more disturbing to listen to.

_"Do you really feel that lonely?"_

_"Sometimes. The women I see aren't really that comforting. Wish they would leave me alone to be honest. All a bunch of dumb ******s if you ask me. All it takes is for the words 'Forget the circus freak and marry me' to come out of their dimwitted mouths for me to literally throw them out the door. Five years I've looked after Dick and they still think I'd abandon him in a heartbeat?!"_

_"They just don't know you like _I _do. You know, I love Dick as much as you do. In a parental sense, I mean."_

_"Which brings us back to your behavior as of late!"_

_"I'm sorry, alright?! You already have control, what else do you want?"_

_"Better company..."_

_"I'm serious, Bruce!"_

_"No, I mean it. Someone better than those..._women_!"_

_"That makes two of us..."_

_"I love you, Bruce."_

_"Same here."_

Lips connecting and loud moans fill the air yet again, this time louder as there appear to be banging sounds that go on for the next several minutes.

_"Want to do this again sometime?"_

_"Tomorrow. This time with music and a different theme."_

...

The Team merely gaped with their mouths open over the masterpiece that Robin had just composed. It was like listening to Beethoven and Mozart at the same time! A live broadcast was just something they could not just listen to without snacks. Wally made a mountain of popcorn while M'gan made some cookies to go with them. Too bad they couldn't enjoy the treats like they had hoped they would. Their appetite was lost now.

_We are bad people. _Wally declared in a deadpan tone through the mind-link. While it was impressive how realistic Robin had made the recording sound, there was still such a thing as too good. Even Robin looked horrified at his work, now those images he created would never get out of his head!

_Ladies and gentlemen. _Robin announced through the mind-link. _Give a big cheer for the other actor who made this all possible._

_What other actor are you talking about? _Artemis frowned at the Boy Wonder.

_Wolf, of course! Who else would have made those background panting sounds like a dog?_ Robin answered before patting the giant dog affectionately. Wolf barked with pleasure as the young teen ruffled his thick hair the way his master would.

_Sooooo, what do we do now?_ Artemis asked awkwardly when the silence went on for too long.

_You know, I was thinking something on the line of brain-washing_. _Actually making Batman and Superman act like a couple, you know?_ Zatanna evilly suggested as she looked at the young Speedster several seats away from her. Wally was still shivering at the recent memory and prayed that he'd be shown some compassion from the young magician for once.

_And how do you propose we do that?_ Aqualad demanded. _We must be realistic here._

_I am being realistic!_ Zatanna insisted and gave the Speedster a more sadistic look. _Ask Wally, he'll know what I'm talking about. Right, _Mr. Non-Believer_?_

_Yes! Yes! Just don't do it to me again!_ Wally practically cried through the mind-link.

_What exactly happened? _Artemis smirked.

Wally began awkwardly. _Let's just say...I-_

_KFtoldZatannathathedidn'tbelieveinmagicandZatannadressedhimupasWonderWomanandthencontrolledhimaspaybackforsayingit!_ Robin explained faster than his Speedster companion could. _But then he started flirting with me under the spell and then I punched him and that's how the spell broke. Then I punched him again for good luck._

_I even had him stuff the costume with melons. _Zatanna added in her sinister voice. _My intention was for him to make a joke about his 'melons', but Robin ruined it!_

It was a few moments before Artemis could process all that the Boy Wonder and Zatanna had just announced to her before she started cracking up out loud, much to the surprise of her teammates.

_So Baywatch just got on the receiving end of _magic_?! _Artemis asked. _I KNEW it would be a matter of time. Suck on that, Kid Mouth!_

_Shut up, Blondie! _Wally grumbled. _I'd like to see your melons being-_

_Back to the topic at hand..._ Robin steered his companions towards the original subject before his best friend finished that sentence and therefore, signed his own death warrant. _I was thinking that a little family reunion is in order here._

_What do you mean 'family reunion'? _M'gan asked.

_We already have Miss Lane, Superman's closest ally involved in this. Now it's time for the Man of Steel's parents to see what their son has been up to these past several months. M'gan, get the bio-ship ready. Conner, my friend. _Robin placed a hand on the Krytonian's shoulder and steered him out of the room. _I think it's time you met your grandparents._

As the others followed the future World's Finest to their main mode of transportation, Artemis looked Wally before demanding. _What the hell is he talking about?_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There have been several times in Jonathan Kent's life where he thought he was losing his mind. The first time was when he and Martha found a baby boy who crash landed in one of their fields with the strength of Hercules. Both of them agreed to name the baby Clark and raised him as their own. The second time was when _another_ being with super-strength was brought to his front door by Clark, explaining that she needed a place to stay. The blonde hair kept on getting in her eyes and she appeared to like flying more than walking for the next few weeks afterwards, but Martha simply adored her and felt grateful that "another female lives in this household." That was when Kara Zor-El, or simply Kara Kent became his "niece." Now he had just turned off the TV after hearing what was apparently a conversation between his son and the richest man in Gotham. Not that they hadn't talked to each other before, that wasn't what made it unusual for him. Jonathan was now well-acquainted with the "nut-job" as Martha referred to him as when they were alone. She had a hard time getting used to him for a while when Gotham's Prince started making frequent visits with that impulsive child a few years back. Richard quickly grew attached to Jonathan and Martha over time.

What got to him, however, was the fact that the recorded message between Clark and Bruce sounded...intimate. Whatever happened to that Lois poor Clark kept on moping over? And didn't he date Lana in high school?

When he received a call from his "grandson," Dick, promising to explain what was going on, Jonathan thought that a nice glass of beer would calm his nerves. To hell with the doctors and his supposed "heart-problem." It was such a shame the boy forgot to mention how he was getting to Smallville in such a short time...

"Hi, Gramps!" Dick waved from a ship that...appeared out of nowhere?! He pulled another boy that was taller than him. That was when Jonathan thought he would have a heart attack. The hair and face were too familiar for this old man to handle. And he's wearing glasses too?! Where the hell was Martha when you needed to make sense out of these situations?_  
><em>

"Um, Dick?" Jonathan Kent made his way towards the young teen and his...companion, "Who is this friend of yours?"

The boy in question looked at the farmer, "How do you know Richard?"

Jonathan was startled by this comment. Dick was wearing the sunglasses and everything, yet this young man was referring to him more personally? Maybe Bruce was loosening up after all of those talks Martha gave him on parenting...

Oh," Dick looked between his friend and the farmer as if realizing something, "I almost forgot! Gramps, this is Conner. Conner, this is Jonathan Kent, father of Superman."

Conner whispered into Dick's ear, "Does that mean he's-"

"No," Dick replied quickly. Whatever the question was, it seems to have been asked several times before already. Jonathan had that same problem with Clark; always asking similar questions when he had a sufficient answer...this doesn't sound coincidental at all!

"Why are you introducing me to your friend, Dick old boy?" Jonathan asked tentatively, already anticipating the answer.

"Gramps," Dick explained slowly, "This...is your...um...grandson."

"..."

"Richard, why is he turning pale?"

"Maybe I should have explained it differently..."

He felt the world turn and fell with a THUD!, collapsing onto the soft dirt below. Other voices bounced around the area now.

"Dudes, why is this old guy on the ground?"

"Aqualad! Spray him with water. He needs to wake up!"

"Ah, yes. Because I'm Aqualad, you must always refer to me for water. Is that what you are thinking, Robin?"

Robin? Oh God! These kids _knew_! So much for a normal life on a farm.

"Sorry, Aqual- hey! Wally, do _not_ poke my grandpa! He's not dead, you idiot!"

"I thought he was _my _grandpa. What's a grandpa anyhow?"

"Later!"

"You know, the old guy might be dead-"

"WALLY!"

**Will Jonathan Kent ever recover from his state of shock? Don't worry, he's not going to die in this story. Otherwise, the title would be "Death at a Funeral." Again, I'm sorry for the absence, this story was just so hard to write. Also, to anyone who views this, I know you are out there. You are free to give your opinions on the matter at hand by pressing the review button below. I REALLY would like to hear your thoughts because reviews are the bread and water that stories need to survive. My intentions are to finish this story before the end of the year because I was hoping to write a short Christmas story afterwards before taking a break and going back to "Dynamic." Thank you again, fellow followers and those who made this story one of their favorites. Next chapter will come out tomorrow for sure this time, I promise. Happy Readings! **


	15. The Meeting of the Kents Part 2

**Okay, I'm back in the lingo now. I feel like five or seven more chapters should be enough to sum up the story. I know a lot of you are hoping that I never stop writing this tale, but the good news is that I've decided to make this a part of my "Humor" universe. That means that this will simply be the beginning of an empire for Young Justice humor. Also, to the reviewer who suggested that some of Batman or Superman's rogues team up with the sidekicks, I'm sorry but it's a bit unrealistic for this tale. Plus there are already enough allies for the Team and it's a surprise that the Justice League hasn't found out yet. But the idea of a villain-hero team-up will be used in a future story in this universe, promise. Now let's get back to the story before poor Jonathan Kent's heart fails on him completely.**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Fourteen: The Meeting of the Kents Part 2**

"That's it, boys. Just drop him down gently, I said _gently.._"

THUD!

"Watch it, Baywatch! He's not made of steel!"

"Shut up, Archie."

"Is that all you can think of? Archie? That's a boy's name."

"Then you shouldn't feel offended then."

"It's not offending at all."

"Earth to lovebirds, we have an elderly man to attend to."

"WE'RE NOT LOVEBIRDS!"

"Says the archer and Speedster who said it simultaneously..."

"EVERYONE! Please, don't disturb my husband, his heart isn't what it used to be."

"Yes'm."

His head throbbing, Jonathan opened his eyes a centimeter to see a girl with corn-yellow hair tied in a ponytail standing over him, alongside a red-haired fellow that looked suspiciously like someone Dick took a picture with once. Speaking of which, Dick was almost out of his line of sight, clearly looking worried while that dark-haired boy- what was his name, Conner?- was standing by his shoulder like a shadow. Then there was Martha, sweet light-of-my-life Martha, acting as if having several strange teens in the house was a normal thing. Her gray-brown hair cut down to her neck, those strong arms that helped during repairs, her thin form covered with a purple sweater and jeans. As far as Jonathan knew, she was the only thing that was certainly real. How he hoped that this was all a crazy nightmare like last night...

Martha noticed Jonathan's eyes opening and went towards her husband, "Jonathan? Are you all right?"

Still dazed, the farmer nodded his head weakly, having a hard time comprehending what was going on at the moment. Dick followed Martha's gaze and nudged Conner to get his attention. Conner now started to stare at the old man like he was prey. Even if this kid wasn't his grandson, he certainly had Clark's facial expressions all right.

"Martha? Sweetie, what's going on?" Jonathan asked from his place on the...floor. He slowly got off of the floor and looked at his wife straight in the eye, "Did we die and go to the bad place by accident with these teenagers?"

"No," Martha said slowly, "It's just tha-wait, did you just ask if we're all dead?!...Anyways, remember how we always wanted to be grandparents?"

"No, that's what every parent claims to want," Jonathan corrected her. Not everyone wants to be a grandparent. Sometimes, they don't even want to be a parent and yet that's what ends up happening after having too much wine before bed.

"That's beside the point. Well...meet our grandson, Conner Kent!" Martha announced eagerly.

THUD! Noises of worry filled in the room as Jonathan felt gentle arms pick him off of the ground and place his body on the couch this time.

"Aww, there he goes again!"

"Does he always faint like an old lady, Rob?"

"No, must be a full moon tonight."

"Odd, it looked more like a quarter moon to me last time I checked."

"This is more confusing than that time Conner unleashed moles in the Cave!"

"I _said_ I was sorry!"

"Might I suggest we use smelling salts to revive Mr. Kent?"

"Forget the salts, Kal! I have this taser in my bag. Maybe we could use that instead."

Jonathan shot up like a gun in that instant. He saw the red-haired boy pulling out a taser and ran towards Martha for safety. Dick punched the red-haired boy in the arm and snatched the taser away from him.

"First of all, when did I suddenly become an official grandpa when my son is not even married yet? And second of all, _where did you get that taser?_" The last question was directed at the red-haired boy, who grinned sheepishly at the old man. Jonathan wouldn't be surprised if this lad came from Gotham, its an asylum without Arkham there anyhow.

"Dick was just telling us that Bruce would be able to explain everything to us," Martha explained, "Clark's been acting very weird apparently, first he avoids the poor boy- I mean Conner, sorry dear -he avoids Conner like the plague, now he's breaking up with dear Lois and getting into social scandals in his confusion-"

"She almost fainted like you did when we showed her the recording online," Dick added.

"- and Dick thinks if we intervene, then Clark will stop acting like a chicken with its head chopped off over the parenting thing," Martha finished, ignoring the last comment that she heard, "But first, I want to head to Gotham and make sure I know the whole story inside and out."

"What story?" Conner asked.

"The one where my Clark is dating a _man_," Martha answered, "This just doesn't make sense at all. Our son would never say or _do_ those things that I just heard a few minutes ago!"

"Honey, he's Superman. Some of the villains he's fought over the years have never made any sense," Jonathan pointed out, "And what's so bad about having a gay son? Only downside is never having real grandchildren."

"It's not that!" Martha glared at her husband, "This is just so _sudden_ and I'm sure that the nut-job is just doing this to hide his identity."

"How would dating someone from Metropolis help my dad protect the secret I.D. thing?" Dick questioned, "Wouldn't it just draw more attention towards them? Believe me when I say this, Gotham will make a big deal out of _anything!_ Just last week, they did a ten-page article on how Harley Quinn is really an alien from another dimension."

"Richard, you know your father does weird things," Martha looked at the young teen, "Remember your first costume?"

"But that was my idea!" Dick cried indignantly, "Why does everyone think that just because I ran around with no pants for the first three months as Robin, that Batman's a pervert and it was his idea?"

"Forget I said it then," the middle-aged woman replied, "I think it's time we go down to Gotham right now and have a chat with Bruce _and_ Clark to set the record straight!"

"To the Batmobile!" Cried Conner out of nowhere.

Everyone, including Dick, looked at Conner like he was insane or something. Where the hell did that come from anyhow?

Conner noticed the attention he was getting from the comment and muttered, "Sorry, must have gotten carried away in the moment there.."

"Do you even _have_ a Batmobile that big enough to hold all nine of us?" Wally asked Dick. The young teen merely smirked at the redhead as an answer. Note to self: Never expect a straight answer from the Boy Wonder.

"We do have a Bioship," the tall, dark-skinned teen in the back replied, "It will be a little cramped though."

"Young man, you are talking to a woman who spent four hours stuck in a tractor with two males who had a can of beans apiece," Martha marched out the door, "I'm sure I can handle this Bio-whatever the hell it is!"

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Jonathan," moaned Martha as she tumbled onto the grassy grounds of Wayne Manor after the Team dropped them off and left the grown-ups to talk, "Remind me to never go on any flying vehicles ever again for the rest of my life!"

"I'm sure you don't want to sleep over here either though," Jonathan observed as he helped his wife to her feet.

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Kent," Alfred walked down the entrance door and greeted the guests, "To what do we owe this rather unexpected arrival?"

"Conner," both Kents replied simultaneously.

As the butler went back into the house and returned with the Wayne heir, Lois crept as closely as she could towards the group without being detected by the security cameras Dick told her about. All she needed was a few pictures and the rest would be history...

XXXXXXXXXXX

"What is it _now_?" The Dark Knight demanded from his colleagues as they dog-whistled his way throughout the Watchtower the next day. Instead of answering, each superhero merely grinned at him without fear of retaliation.

"Did you get your parents' blessing yet?" Green Arrow chuckled as he walked past Batman.

"MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!" Batman shouted back to the idiot archer, who then proceeded to run as fast as his legs could carry him.

"Maybe you should keep your meetings with Superman or _anyone related to him_ to a minimum," Flash suggested sarcastically, "Who knows what's watching you?"

"Is anyone going to answer me or would they like to go through Seven Minutes in Hell with me again?" The Dark Knight demanded out loud to no one in particular.

"I suggest you read the Gotham Gazette and see for yourself," Martian Manhunter stated before tossing what appeared to be a newspaper at his colleague's face.

Unfolding the article was easy enough, it was reading the front page that turned out to be harder than putting a hyperactive Boy Wonder to bed. Batman read the page several times before dropping it to the ground, his mouth wide open in preparation for-

"If you scream, I'll sue you!" Black Canary glared as she saw what the Dark Knight was about to do.

Batman decided to grab the nearest thing and muffled his voice with it. Unfortunately, that object was Superman's chest, resulting in more snide remarks about getting a room.

"Get off of me!" Superman pushed Batman off before proceeding to wipe his chest of any mucus that might have gotten onto the recently cleaned uniform, "What is your problem, Bruce?!"

"Read it and weep, Kent!" The Dark Knight declared before shoving the Gotham Gazette into the Kryptonian's face, "This is all _your_ fault!"

Superman only stopped on the words: **KENTS MEET WAYNES LAST NIGHT: BUDDING FRIENDSHIP OR SOMETHING ELSE?**

When the glass around the Watchtower threatened to crack, Black Canary decided to steal some Kryptonite from Lex Luthor for a more threatening approach on the Man of Steel.

**Not my best chapter, I admit it. But I needed to feed the crowd soon. As always, please review. It doesn't matter what you say, your opinion counts and considering how this story will be wrapping up in a week's time or so, there's no better time like the present. Back to the "Humor" universe, I've decided to make it so "What's a Mole?" and "We Love Our Two Dads" are in it. Universe-wise, I mean. This is merely because they are both humor-related and seemed practical to have whacky stories like these connected. Suggestions for Phase Three are appreciated as always. Thank you all for the support and Happy Readings!**


	16. Role Reversal

**Hello again everyone. Sorry for the long wait. Just thought I'd let you know a few things: **

**First and foremost, I will be wrapping up this story in the next five chapters, I hate to say it but I'm running out of material and motivation. That means that these chapters will be kinda short now. :(**

** Secondly, to the reviewer who is begging for a Batman '66 reference, don't worry, there will come a quote before I finish this. And thank you so much by the way for your support with my tale and giving reviews. **

**And thirdly, to the reviewer who asked if I watch a lot of Arrow or Flash shows, I sadly do not watch either show. Just first thing that popped into my head was the two characters who were more lively than most of the Justice League. I have watched a few episodes of Arrow and the pilot for Flash and loved them though. Not sure if I could do a crossover like the ones you suggested, I'm sorry to say. **

**And last thing; these next few chapters will have more Robin/Superboy bonding, more Lois and Alfred, and more of Zatanna's sneaky spells as the best part! Onward with the story!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Fifteen: Role Reversal**

Batman swore under his breath as the feminine voice announced his arrival at the Cave. With his luck, any teen in the area would have made themselves scarce with the desire of wanting to avoid the Dark Knight. He still walked towards his destination, wishing to set some things straight. The Justice League might have made themselves blind to any evidence pointing towards the young heroes, but Batman wasn't. The only person who might accidentally slip up upon questioning might be Superboy...as long as there was no need for Kryptonite. But first, he would have to clear up why the Kents had visited Wayne Manor only a few days ago.

The sound of static in the living room let Batman know that someone was still in the room. Only Conner had the television on a channel that showed nothing but electric snow. A dog started growling when the Dark Knight got closer to the couch, obviously distrusting the hero to be anywhere near his master. It wasn't until the artificial life-form ball-shaped...thing rolled in front of the Caped Crusader did he stop. The conversation would have to start casual, just like Alfred expected him to act when dealing with teenagers. Not that he wouldn't mess up as usual...

"Superboy?" Batman began talking to the figure on the couch, black hair barely visible above the cushions. He tried again, "Conner, do you...have a moment?"

The sounds of someone moving on the couch made it clear that they heard him.

Batman continued, "I uh, wanted to apologize first of all for my behavior last week. It must have been difficult for Miss Martian especially, since Black Canary tells me you care a lot for your teammate. But as you know, gossip related to my family often ends up causing problems for me and Ro-I mean Richard. Well, you would know if you lived in a big city like Gotham, people are just starving for some action unrelated to superheroes."

More movement on the couch, the mass of black hair becoming taller, like the person sitting there was straightening up. So far so good.

"There was something in the papers just three days ago about a couple coming to see me," the Dark Knight explained, "They share the last name, Kent, like you do. People seem to think that they were visiting for a completely different reason, which was confronting me about Superman acting like a chicken whenever you're around."

The mass on the couch seemed to have growled. No wait, that was Conner's dog. He never did enjoy the Caped Crusader's company at all/

"Anyways," the Dark Knight continued as he edged closer and closer to the couch, "I was just wondering if you were aware of this meeting at all. After all, they are _you're_ grandparents. And you are-"

He reached the other side of the couch and saw that the mass sitting before him was-

Robin!" That he was, drool falling from his mouth and completely oblivious to his surroundings at the moment. But startled by the raised voice, Robin snapped awake and fell to the ground. Wolf went up to the Boy Wonder and lay on top of the teen, as if that would protect him. Batman raised his eyebrows at the spectacle before him.

"Dad?" Robin asked as he lifted himself off the ground, "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing I was going to ask you," growled the Dark Knight, "Where's Superboy?"

"To answer your first question, I was watching TV," the Boy Wonder explained slowly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "And second off, _Conner_ is hanging out with Miss M."

"There is nothing but static at the moment," Batman pointed out, gesturing to the TV.

"Just checking out the channel Conner likes," Robin answered, "Fell asleep after a few minutes. Guess its a Kryptonian thing."

Batman rolled his eyes at the answer, and decided to move forward with his plan, "Robin, I want to know if-"

"There is any connection between the Kents and the article couple days ago?" Robin finished the question before replying, "Well, we _might_ have told Gramps and Gran 'bout it."

"And the photos?" The Dark Knight pressed forward.

Robin's eyes widened at the question, "To be honest Bruce, I don't have a clue."

"Sure," Batman replied sarcastically, "And the Joker is a sex-deprived man who vents his frustrations out on Gotham."

"Well that'd be a pretty weird motivation considering he has Harley with him almost 24/7," Robin chuckled before looking straight into his mentor's eyes more seriously, "But seriously though, I have no idea how someone got through our security so easily."

"It's possible if _someone_ told the intruder about the blind-spots we have yet to deal with," Batman said this as he moved in closer to his son's face, "The blind spots near the _bushes_..."

"Kinda getting too close for comfort, Bats," Robin cautioned jokingly, "What, want to kiss me or something?"

If looks could kill... Batman growled and turned the other direction, wishing to get away from this new wave of madness his son was showing him.

"Just a joke, old man," Robin called out before the Zeta-tubes announced his departure, "Just a joke."

XXXXXXXX

It started out as a nice evening for the young couple; seeing that musical called _Into the Woods_ turned out to be exactly what Zatanna had said it would be, a light dinner of the classic pasta-and-meatballs combo afterwards provided the opportunity for Conner to show his girlfriend what he had learned in the arts of Fine-Dining from none other than Mr. Pennysworth, and a walk by the lake was just as romantic as those horrible rom-com films made it out to be. Maybe going to Metropolis wasn't such a bad idea after all. Especially on a night like this.

"Maybe you should hang out with Robin more often," M'gan, now currently disguised as Caucasian Megan Morse, suggested jokingly, "Comes with a few perks."

Conner grinned back at her, "Sounds like an asterous idea."

"Guess it comes with copycat issues too," Megan giggled.

"Don't say that in front of Wolf," the young Kryptonian warned, "He hears the word 'cat' and BAM!, he goes nuts. Starts trying to dig in my room for one, sniffs Wally like he's hiding something. I think Artemis endured his nose a few times too. As if she's a crazy cat lady or something."

"Like Artemis is a cat-person," Megan smirked. The two shared a laugh at the thought of their archer petting a kitten. Soon, Conner was bawling his eyes out as the thought became funnier and funnier. It was a miracle that he was controlling himself this time.

By the time Conner had finally settled down, he had a question on his lips,

"What kind of perks do you mean?"

"Perks?" Megan asked, "I don't under-oh! Hello Megan! I was just...joking about the perks. You just acted so much like a gentleman, I was joking when I suggested Robin was the reason behind it. You paid for dinner and the show, helped me across the street, I'm even wearing your jacket and it's around 50 degrees right now. Aren't you even a little cold?"

"I'm tough. Remember?" Conner replied, "Runs in the family."

But at the last statement, his voice started sounding hollow. Megan placed a warm hand on his shoulder,

"Once we finish messing with him, your dad will get his act together."

"How do you know?" Conner asked in a low voice, "You don't know him that well."

"I know because I take after my Uncle J'onn," Megan answered, "He tells me that he's trying to get through to that thick head of Clark's. Plus, I think it's customary on Earth for women to have endless faith in their boyfriends."

"Or girlfriends?" Conner suggested.

"Or girlfriends," Megan agreed.

They ended up simply giggling over the strangest of things too...maybe Wally _did_ give good advice over how dates go, at least he wasn't here to rub it in Conner's face, or moan at the revelation that the Boy of Steel was with the hot Martian girl. Soon, Conner felt a strange sensation in his stomach and stopped in his tracks. Megan looked back at him with confusion.

"Conner, what's wrong?" Megan asked gently.

"M'gan," Conner spoke slowly, "I just realized something."

"What is it?" She asked.

"Is this what people call...a date?"

Megan blushed. It did seem like that once she thought about it, all they usually do was play "Kiss like there's no tomorrow without anyone seeing or hearing" back at the Cave. No one ever told them what being a couple was supposed to be like. It felt...real! There was no constant hugging, no laughter or sighs or even the slightest cough in the background. And it was certainly longer than twenty-two minutes.

This was real-life. Conner seemed to notice this and faced her more intently.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Conner offered, taking out a bronze coin from his pocket while he said this.

"I feel like...a human girl!" That was all Megan could say.

Conner brought his face closer to her's with a small smile on his lips, "Best bargain of the evening."

She nodded her head slowly, unsure of what to do next. Fortunately, Conner did.

The heat of his lips against her was different than usual. It was like feeling the wind against her face instead of another person's flesh. Not the harsh wind, but the gentle breeze that feels so much like silk. No flavor of tongue came between them this time like their previous moments together. And a feeling in her chest grew too. Like something was slowly awakening inside. Her heart became a steadily beating drum, the tempo going higher and higher. Megan felt Conner pull her gently towards her, letting her feel his heartbeat as well. It was as if both were beating as one now.

Conner never understood why girls always word lipstick until today; as he felt her soft lips with his own, a sweet flavor was registering in his tongue. It wasn't meant for just looks, it was meant to keep the men interested. It made them want more. And he took the bait; hook, line, and sinker. Conner's breath started halting as a strange sensation started rising to the surface. It made his lips tingle and felt like he was going to laugh out of glee, not humor.

The sensation left him when a flash of light hit their faces. Then a voice rang in the darkness,

"Damn it! Rob told me that it wasn't on flash!"

Megan gasped and pushed Conner away from her much more fiercely than she wanted to. Conner ignored the feeling of dirt in his fingernails now as he looked up at the culprit. Wally looked beyond embarrassed right now.

"Holy Peeping Tom, Wally!" Conner barked, "What the hell are you doing here? I am not feeling the aster right now!"

For once in his fifteen years of life, Wallace Rudolph West was left speechless. In response, he merely held up the camera and whimpered, "Souvenir?"

Megan was now glaring daggers at him, more fiercely than she did with Superman. Conner slowly rose up and muttered in a strangely calm voice,

"Wally, you have three seconds to live. One-"

Megan ignored this and dashed at Wally on very fast legs, who cried out while trying to avoid the vengeful Martian,

"What happened to 'Two' and 'Three'?!"

The chase continued until Wally ran into a tree and promptly knocked himself out. Conner rushed over and felt a steady beat pulsing through Wally's neck. He was still alive...for now!

"How did he find us?" Conner asked to no one in particular.

Megan's eyes glowed green for a few moments before replying, "He overheard us talking about going out for the night three days ago and decided to borrow Robin's camera. Wally wanted to take out his frustrations by scaring us while we got...intimate. At least that's what he remembered before it started fading from his head."

"Wait. So he doesn't remember any of this?" Conner asked in surprise.

"Guess so," Megan shrugged, "I could check his mind and double-check. Otherwise, he doesn't remember we're together now. What's our excuse?"

"We'll say he was trying out some pretzels in the city and got knocked out by a mugger," Conner answered rather quickly, "And that we came by because we were tailing Superman and decided to take care of Wally first. We just have to remember to stay traught."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Here's your camera back, Richard," Conner tossed the device over to the Boy Wonder back at the Cave. Richard stared at the dazed Wally being supported by a rather disheveled M'gan and looked at his cousin for answers.

"He fell," was the only answer Richard got.

"Are we at the circus yet, Mommy?" Wally asked in a slurred voice as he was gently placed on the couch.

"...Yes dear," M'gan answered slowly, "We just made it to the part where everyone goes to sleep."

"But I'm not tired!" Wally whined in a childish tone.

"Go to sleep and when you wake up, the show will continue," M'gan replied, "Goodnight, Wally."

Maybe watching nothing but static was a bad idea...

XXXXXXXXX

"Are the dolls ready, Zatanna?" Aqualad asked the young magician the next day as they flew in the Bio-ship.

She grinned evilly at the Atlantean before pulling out two dolls resembling Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent respectively.

Aqualad nodded, "Good. Then we must wait for nightfall before proceeding."

"Why can't we be there?" Artemis moaned, "Everyone in the Justice League is gonna be there and we'll miss all the fun!

"Because Conner and Robin were invited and we weren't," Wally grumbled, "Plus, I'm not sure I can handle that much excitement right now. Can't even remeber last night. God! My head is killing me!"

"At the stoke of six, Phase 3 will commence!" Zatanna declared in a maniacal voice before laughing hysterically, "Muah ha ha ha ha!"

"You didn't get much sleep last night, did you?" Artemis guessed.

"Nope," Zatanna confirmed with a dopey grin on her face.

**Next chapter comes tomorrow... or today, since it's almost one in the morning now. Think of this one as a late Christmas gift to everyone. I'm really sorry about the wait. But this story will be done before the new year, I swear it! As always, please review and other comments and concerns are allowed. Happy Readings!**


	17. A Night To Remember Part 1

**Here we are again. Now for the final phase of the plan! Thank you all who have gotten this story more than 50 reviews now and to Appel Bougher, who is just getting into this story and has so much faith already. Back to the story.**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belongs To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Sixteen: A Night To Remember Part One**

Dick tapped his foot impatiently as he waited outside of his own bathroom, wishing Conner could get ready faster. They both had a gala to attend with Bruce and Clark in an hour, yet the Boy of Steel _still_ wasn't ready. Bruce and Alfred always made sure that Dick was dressed for these dumb occasions two hours ahead of time because he would always procrastinate in the past.

Dick banged at the bathroom door, "Come on, Conner! We were supposed to be ready an hour ago! What's the hold-up?"

"Just trying to this zipper up," Conner's voice called from the other side of the door, "Could I get some help here?"

The young teen sighed and opened the door, expecting to see his cousin struggling with all of the delicate silk clothes and the stubborn zipper just mentioned. When he entered the room, all Dick saw was Conner turning around and around like a dog chasing its tail. And he was reaching for a zipper on his _back_. Maybe looking at the rest of the attire would explain a few things. For one thing, Conner was wearing a brown hood with ears coming out the top like those cute baby outfits. Another thing to notice was the brown underbelly in the front. But maybe the biggest thing to notice was that a tail was sticking out the back of Conner's pants.

"Conner," Dick began slowly as he began to realize what was going on, "What are you wearing?"

The young Kryptonian gave him a look as if Dick said something really stupid, "What does it look like I'm wearing? I'm wearing my _monkey suit._ Once I'm finished, I'll help you get your suit on. Now all I need is a banana..."

"Dude...this _is_ my suit," the Boy Wonder replied, gesturing to the tuxedo covering his frame, "You're the one who isn't ready."

Conner frowned, "That's weird. I asked Red Tornado to get me a monkey suit and this is what I got."

"That's because he's an android, he doesn't understand the other meaning of the word," Dick groaned, "Look, if we were going to a costume party, _then _your outfit would be appropriate. Yeesh, this is the mole episode all over again!"

"Episode?" Conner raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about? Are we on TV?!"

"Nah," the young teen chuckled, "Here, let me help you out of that stupid costume. Your tuxedo must be in the closet too, that's were Al said he put them."

As the sounds of laughter filled the room, a figure unbeknownst to either teen stood outside the bedroom door listening with a heavy heart. They were so unlike him and Bruce, where it was a miracle if they could exchange several words without negativity in them.

"I can't believe you get so confused with double-meaning words," Dick's laughter grew louder now.

"Oh yeah? Well I...can't believe that...you're _small_!" Conner sounded a lot like Wally when he said those words.

An audible gasp was heard, "You take that back!"

"Make me!"

Clark sighed to himself, each new word now piercing deeper into his heart. He used to dream about being a parent; but now that his wish was granted, the Man of Steel only wanted distance between the young Kryptonian and himself. Sooner or later...Conner...would become a man. Possibly a man with all the strength Superman has at the moment. A man with someone as close to him as a brother, just like Bruce, maybe better than that. A man...who would grow up without a father...

XXXXXXXXXXXX

5:30, both Waynes and Kents were surrounded by many of Gotham's socialites in the Gotham Museum of Fine Arts. All four were forced to split up though, to avoid more paparazzi questions like "Is this a family outing?" or "When will you two fine gentlemen tie the knot?" or even "Is this a double date?" So to mix it up (and make sure nothing got broken) Dick went along with Clark while Bruce kept Conner close beside him.

"You know," Clark began awkwardly as he faced a bitter-looking Richard, "I uh...never got to apologize for my uh...behavior last time...we saw each other. To Conner, I mean."

"Then why don't you go find him then?" Dick questioned coldly.

"Because A) Bruce and Conner are nowhere to be find, B) People will start talking if all four of us meet up again, and C) If I leave you alone right now, Bruce is gonna rip me a new one!"

"Hasn't it already been established that he does that?" Dick smirked.

Before Clark could reply, squeal of delight cut him off.

"Dickie!" A tall, blonde woman squealed only moments later, "How are you, sweetie? Did you miss your old Auntie Carrie?"

Dick endured the many smooches (not kisses, smooches) being placed on both cheeks with great vigor before Clark stepped in and pulled the socialite off of his nephew. Carrie looked scandalized by this action and huffed,

"I don't know who you are, Four-Eyes. But I'm pretty sure being a kinky boyfriend like you shouldn't be hanging around with poor little Richie-"

"I'm his uncle and Richard's _not a plaything!_" Clark growled at the woman, "And I'm _not_ a kinky boyfriend. Bruce and I are just good friends-"

"Brucie wouldn't hang around with a country-bumpkin like yourself," sneered Carrie, "I heard all about you, _Smallville_. Bet it feels great, letting Brucie be the top while you bumble around in your Southern stupidity-"

" _'The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice,__' _" Clark interrupted much to Carrie's surprise, "I think a 'country-bumpkin' like myself said that once. Mark Twain, I think was his name? You know of him? Well, I'm sure since you're so rich, your parents must have made you read at least one book he wrote? No? Then keep your fact-less opinions to yourself!"

While Carrie was left gaping with her mouth open Dick pulled off a large grin and replied,

"Oh, Carrie. You want to know how much I've missed you? I've missed you-"

"You do?" Carrie cut him off mid-sentence sweetly, now recovering from her initial shock, "That's just-"

"As much as I miss as the head-lice I got in 3rd Grade. And the Joker. And Two-Face. And the Black Plague. Annnd germs, definitely germs," Dick finished with a sickly sweet grin on his face to match Carrie's. The young woman's mouth was left wide open at the obvious insult that was just thrown at her. After a few moments of silence, Carrie stormed off as if she had just been slapped in the face.

Clark looked at Dick, "Was that necessary, Dick?

"When a woman tries acting sweet to you after calling you a circus-freak a few years ago which lead to an embarrassing and tearful breakup on her part with Gotham's richest man, then yes, that was necessary," Dick answered, " And you're one to talk, Mr. 'I don't like being a jerk,'I thought her head was gonna explode from all of the thinking her brain was doing! You remember how Bruce handled all the assholes first year in Gotham?"

"I remember him scaring people and even slapping a few women," Clark pondered, "Ruining some dresses by 'accident'...kicking a few men in the manhood...didn't he finally lose it during a gala around Christmastime and promptly told everyone to shut the fuck up about you?"

"If Batman didn't scare the press into keeping a lid on it, I'm pretty sure it would have made all the front pages," Dick grinned at the memory, "The great lengths parents will go for their children."

"Why would Bruce risk so much?" Clark wondered, "Is it really that hard to be a parent?"

"You're telling me," Dick shrugged, "Ask Dad, he's the one to talk to. Conner asked me the same thing yesterday back at base. Looked really bored by the time I saw him."

"Does...Conner like...living there?" Clark asked. He dare not say "cave" for security reasons.

"Don't think so," Dick shook his head sadly, "I suggested he crash at the Manor, but Conner didn't feel that comfortable with the thought."

"Didn't think so," the reporter agreed, "Seems kinda modest and polite once you get past the uh...-"

"Teenage frustration?" Dick offered.

Clark smiled, "Yeah, something like that."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh Brucie," Sharon McKenzie, heir of McKenzie Candies, rushed up to the billionaire the moment she saw he was alone, "I was just _sooo_ anxious to talk to you. Oh, and who's this _little fellow_?" She asked the moment she noticed Conner standing right there. The young man started coughing slightly to deflect attention, only it didn't work.

"This is Conner Kent," Bruce introduced the young woman to his companion, "He's Clark Kent's son."

"How do you do?" Conner held out a hand. Sharon simply smiled at him before turning back to Bruce.

"So, I wanted to ask you a _very personal question_..." she squeaked at the billionaire.

"I said _how do you do?_" Conner repeated a little louder, believing that the woman simply didn't hear him the first time.

Sharon rudely pushed the young teen aside and whispered very loudly to Bruce, "Why don't we leave the little guy with your butler and-"

"Let me ask you a question first," Bruce cut her off, "Isn't it proper manners to shake someone else's hand when they offer it to you?"

Sharon went pale, "Well I-uh...yes it-"

"Yet Conner was trying to be a gentlemen, but you simply ignored him," Bruce continued, "Now why is that?"

"I was-umm...I was really-um...anxious to talk to you and-um...," Sharon stammered. Bruce glared at her fiercely,

"And in what way is this young man a 'little guy?' And if you really want to ask me a personal question, I suggest you not do that!"

Sharon started going from pale-white to bright-pink, "I'm so-sorry, I-I meant no offense-"

"There are nine words I'd like to say to you and they are-" But whatever he was going to say never came out. Bruce froze in place, completely unaware of his surroundings as Conner quickly found out after waving his hands over the man's eyes several times.

Suddenly, as if being controlled like a marionette, Bruce pushed Sharon to the ground and started walking away almost mechanically. Moments later, Richard came running towards Conner with a very mechanical-like Clark in tow.

"What time is is?" Conner asked. Richard held up his watch, showing the big hand on 12 and the smaller hand on 6.

"So it's happening then?" A voice came up from behind. Both boys turned around to see that it was none other than Lois. Both teens nodded in response.

Lois grinned evilly as Alfred walked up to them, "It's a good thing I have my camera."

**Next update comes tomorrow, which is the second-to-last chapter in this story. Thank you for your support. Happy Readings!**


	18. A Night To Remember Part 2

**Second-to-last chapter is here! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belongs To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Seventeen: A Night To Remember Part Two**

_"E__cnad eht ztlaw,"_ Zatanna whispered into the two dolls in her hand. The moment she released them from her grasp, the figures started floating down like leaves in the fall. The moment they touched the ground, the dolls began swaying back and forth like pendulums with both hands connected to each other on the ground. To the surprise of the Team, they made sighing sounds as if they were truly alive. Their faces looked so live-like, as if they were actual people. The clothes attached to them swayed in the wind that the two dancers were making. Even their small, individual fingers twitched every now and again, just like any other person out there.

"Zatanna my friend," Artemis grinned at the female magician, "You've outdone yourself."

"Wait," Zatanna, holding up her hand, "There's more..."

She nodded to Wally, who then pulled out two microphones from his pocket and tossed one to Zatanna. Wally then pulled out a remote and pressed a button on it, resulting in one of the Bio-ship's windows changing into a view of the gala.

"The camera's in Rob's tie," Wally explained to the rest of the Team, "Courtesy of Al."

Zatanna watched as Gotham's Prince and the reporter danced around the room, bumping into people without any awareness of their actions.

"And now to make things even more humiliating...," Zatanna grinned. She pressed her mouth against the device and prepared to speak...

"Wait," Artemis cried out. Zatanna looked up at her in annoyance, "Let's save the talking for later. No one's gonna pay attention to their words while they dance. Let's just watch the scenario unfold and then we go in for the kill."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Back at the gala, Conner and Dick did their best to hide their giggles as they watched their mentors dance with one another. It went so well with the violins that had just started playing. It was obvious to all who watched that Bruce Wayne was leading the routine as he spun, pressed against, even lifted up Clark Kent into the air. Their faces were so close to each other, it almost looked like they were kissing. People began getting confused, considering how much Bruce Wayne denied the rumors. Then again, maybe he was just waiting for the perfect moment to come out. Both men chuckled as they continued twirling around the room; past other dancers who decided to deal with the situation, past the paparazzi, even past their own two sons who knew exactly what was going on to them.

Dick felt something tapping on his shoulder after several minutes of watching the excitement unfold; when he turned around, Dick felt at ease as familiar red hair brushed against his nose.

"Hey Babs," Dick greeted his friend, "Enjoying the show?"

Barbara frowned, "What show? You mean the dance? Guess so. I mean, at least your dad's having a good time...I think. Isn't that guy he's dancing with your uncle or something?"

"In a surrogate sense, yes. Oh," Dick saw Conner turning away and pulled him towards Barbara, "Babs, this is my cousin, Conner Kent with a K. Con, Barbara Gordon. She's my best friend and the smartest kid at Gotham Academy...next to me, that is."

"I though Wally was your best friend," Conner blurted out. Barbara looked at Dick suspiciously, who chuckled nervously in reply.

"Who is this 'Wally' person?" Barbara questioned her friend, "Is there something you're hiding?"

"Funny story actually," Dick backed away slowly as the girl advanced on him ferociously, "The thing is-oh my God, it's Tom Cruise!"

Barbara turned around for a split second while Dick grabbed Conner and ran off. She noticed this and began to chase them down like a pack of wild animals.

"What's the big deal?" Conner demanded, "I just thought you only had one best friend."

"You can have more than one friend Conner," Dick huffed as he charged past other guests in the hopes of finding Lois, "It's just weird when your two best friends don't know about each other and they make assumptions about you."

"Like what?" Conner asked.

"Like what we're putting Bruce and Clark through right now," Dick replied. Sharp nails dug into his back only moments later and dragged Dick and Conner down to the floor. Barbara pinned down her friend and flipped him over so that the young teen could look at her ferocious face.

"What are you putting your dad through?" Barbara glared at Dick.

"Umm," Dick's breathing began to quicken, "I-uh...put itching powder in his pillow again?" It would have been a convincing answer if he wasn't sweating so much.

"Conner," Barbara looked at Dick's cousin, who looked as if he was going to break something, "What's Dick planning?"

Conner looked around the room for a few moments before replying, "We used their toothbrushes to unclog the master bathroom toilet. 'Cause they got upset over something stupid and blamed us for it." Barbara still glared at the older boy before releasing Dick from her grip.

"Alright," Barbara sighed, "I believe you. But _you're _going to dance with me whether you like it or not!" And with that, she grabbed Dick and dragged him off to the dance floor. Conner decided to follow his cousin, and grabbed a random girl to dance with. If it was someone like Carrie, there would have been a lot of screaming. But all this girl could do was admire her captor's muscles...

XXXXXXXXXX

Aqualad checked the screen again as soon as soon as he heard the music in the background toning down a little. Zatanna and M'gan then picked up the microphones to move forward with Phase 3.

"Test run," Zatanna muttered, "_This is the best night of my life_."

No sooner had she said this did the Bruce doll begin repeating the same phrase in a deep, masculine voice,

"_This is the best night of my life._"

M'gan smiled, "Okay then, we just saw Brucie and Smallville dance the night away. Now let's see them put their money where their mouths are..."

"Just as long as no one hits them," Zatanna warned, "If that happens, the spell will break. Ask Wally for references."

"Shut up and don't talk about it!" Wally grumbled under his breath.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Dick panted as Barbara kissed him on the cheek as a thank you before walking off to join her father by the police's table. Conner struggled to pry his dancing partner off of him as she continued to beg him to stay with her.

"No! No!" Conner kept repeating, "I-I'm not interested in meeting your parents. The dance was fine, it's just that-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HONEYMOON?!" Finally, the girl left him alone as Conner took a deep sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Clark were chatting it up with other couples while Lois video-recorded it for blackmailing purposes. Both men were holding each other's hands so much, it was a wonder that Clark didn't break any of Bruce's bones yet. Black Canary, currently Dinah Lance, looked at them with suspicion. She started walking towards the new "couple" when an elderly man got in her way.

"Oh pardon me, madam," the old man apologized, "I wasn't looking where I was going."

"Don't worry about it," Dinah reassured the man. She looked at him closely, "You actually look kind of familiar. Are you a friend of the Waynes?"

"Better," the old man replied as he rummaged through his pockets. He pulled out a handkerchief and placed it on Dinah's mouth. As she lost consciousness, the last thing she heard from the old man was, "I'm their butler."

Clark kept on bunny-kissing his "lover's" cheek while they listened to the people around them talk.

"So Jane and I were at this bed and breakfast place last week," one man talked, "What was it called again, dear? It was so good, I just can't remember the name..."

"Lisa's Lodge," the man's companion replied, "they have these delicious-"

"Oh god!" Bruce cried out much to the surprise of the other guests, "Clark and I LOVE that place. We went there a while ago, remember? They had those muffins, and the soup was to DIE FOR!"

"I hear you, Bruce. I hear you," Clark nodded in agreement. He turned to another couple, "So when did you two start going out?"

"Well," another woman began, "We got together around...three months ago? Anyways, our first date was-"

"Bruce and I got together three months ago!" Clark jumped up and down in excitement, "Our first date was at Bibbo's Diner. It was short, but it was a night I'll NEVER forget!"

XXXXXXXXXX

While Bruce and Clark kept on babbling away, Zatara looked on with suspicion before an old man came by and offered him something to eat. Without looking at what was on the plate, the magician bit into it as he noticed the vacant look in both men's eyes...hypnosis? No, this was voodoo magic! Realizing this, Zatara was about to utter the counter-spell when he realized that his mouth was blocked off. It felt like glue was keeping even his lips from moving, no...it felt more like..peanut butter? As he came to this conclusion, Zatara started running off in search of any kind of refreshment. Unfortunately, it seemed as if everyone had drank their fill and left nothing behind alcohol or otherwise. He had to clear his throat somehow!

"And that time at the beach," Clark laughed loudly, "Brucie here was in this cute speedo I got him for the occasion. It looked so sexy on him. All pink with flowers. We were alone of course; Richard didn't know we were dating until he saw Bruce drag me across the floor a few weeks ago. I was _so _drunk, and there Richard was, all okay with another dad in his life. And getting a new brother too. He's so excited now, Richard says he can't wait to call me 'Dad' too."

"Bruce," another woman looked at him amazed over the beach story, "I never knew you had such...fashion taste."

"But it's in bed where I rule," declared Gotham's Prince loudly, "Clark is just so wimpy, begging for _everything!_ He's putty in my hands, I can do whatever I want without worries. But I promised him control on our honeymoon..."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Oliver Queen began looking for Dinah, she hadn't come back in the past ten minutes, so he was starting to get worried. He came close to Bruce and Clark when he started hearing them say some _pretty weird things._ Oliver knew Bruce's playboy persona, and he _never_ sounded like that. Too much booze? Maybe a little slap will wake him up...

WHAM!

"Oh," Oliver gasped as he knocked a woman down, "I am so sorry, miss uhh.."

"Lane," she replied, "Lois Lane from the Daily Planet. Aren't you Oliver Queen?"

Oliver blushed, "Well, I don't like to brag but-"

"This is perfect," Lois squealed, "I wanted to do an article abut you, I just need you to stand over there for a moment." She practically pushed Oliver further and further away from the crowd despite his protests. When he felt something hard hit him over the head, Oliver regretted no bringing the rape whistle this time. Girls were just so crazy...

XXXXXXXXX

The socialites had enjoyed talking to the new couple for the first few minutes, now they just wanted them to shut up!

"And that time at the movies," Bruce exclaimed.

"And the one at the restaurant," Clark chimed in.

"WE ARE BEST FRIENNNNNDS!" They both screamed together. Dick and Conner looked on smirking as they watched their mentors keep on making fools of themselves. What they _weren't_ expecting however, was for Carrie to come towards the "couple" and slap Clark hard across the cheek... Oh crap!

XXXXXXXXXXX

"AHHHHHHH!" Zatanna screamed.

"What is wrong?" Aqualad asked his teammate. In reply, Zatanna merely pointed at the Clark doll, which was now turning into fine sand.

"What's going on?" M'gan wondered. She turned bright-pink, "Hello Megan! I went too far with the talking, did I?"

"So what's Plan B?" Wally asked the others. When everyone simply stared at him, he screamed, "WE DON'T HAVE A PLAN B?!"

"Let's just head back to the Cave then," Artemis sighed, "Guess it's over then."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Clark didn't register the slap across his face, all he could see was Bruce's face far too close in his personal bubble. It was the second time he was so distracted that his sharp ears failed to notice the mutterings all around him. When Zatara came into view, he saw the man pointing to Bruce and mimed a slapping motion. Then he saw Zatara point to him and mouth out the word, _hypnosis. _Understanding the message, Clark slapped Bruce across the face, though harder than he intended when he saw a tooth flying out of the man's mouth. He looked to Zatara for guidance, who merely shrugged. It was time to improvise...

"I can't believe you let your friend do that to me!" Clark bellowed into Bruce's face, "You control half a city, yet you can't even control one woman!"

Bruce, still dazed from the hard slap, looked perplexed by the statement before noticing three things. One, people were surrounding the two men. Two, Dick and Conner were trying to walk away as quickly as they could along with Alfred and Lois. And three, they were both holding hands with a near death-grip.

"Well _excuse me_!" Bruce threw back, deciding to play along, "No one is perfect!"

"That's what I thought you were when we met for the first time," Clark's eyes were filling up with tears, "Is this what our life's going to be like together?"

Bruce decided to shrug.

Clark's face went red, "Fine, then I want my stuff back!"

"I want my stuff back too!" Bruce retorted.

"What stuff?" Clark barked.

"Your nose," Bruce smirked.

Clark grabbed Bruce's hand and pulled it to his zipper line, "Here, you paid for this too!"

"And it still feels like Smallville down there," Bruce replied.

"We're THROUGH!" Clark marched off.

"Just what I was going to say!" Bruce yelled back, "But I still want to be friends!"

"Ditto!" Clark agreed angrily. When the guests started turning away, the World's Finest managed to stop their four targets before they drove off in the limo. Considering how Alfred was flooring the poor thing for once, it was a miracle that no one got hurt.

"Anything you'd like to explain?" Bruce grinned evilly at the terrified passengers and driver.

"You'll never take me alive!" Lois declared bravely before running out of the car, "Nev-oh crap!"

Bruce was just too fast for her.

"I'll call the League," he told Clark, "We'll meet up at the Cave. And as for you!" He glared at his captives, "You're coming along for the ride."

Clark began ripping off his suit, "This looks like a job for-" Unfortunately, the only thing he was wearing now was his boxers.

"Naked Lad?" Lois asked sarcastically before a Bat-glare shut her up.

"After we get Clark some clothes that is," Bruce grumbled.

**Final chapter comes out tomorrow. Stay tuned. Happy Readings!**


	19. Busted!

**Here it is everyone. The big finale! It's kind of a relief that I got to this point, I've been running out of energy for this story. It's bad, I know. But I will continue making stories in this new universe that I have dubbed the "Humorverse." _Un_fortunately, there won't be any more of these humor-based stories for a while now. I plan on working on another story I want to get off the ground before I forget. **

**Thank you all for favoring, following, and reviewing this tale as it gave me great hopes and kept me going in the long run.**

** Also a special thanks to Niom Lamboise, ProtectorKori, as well as anakinlove for their advice and help. Kudos to you three for your suggestions and adding your ideas or thoughts onto .net. Now for the funny conclusion...**

**Added January 1st, 2015: Just fixing some errors I saw, nothing more.**

**Disclaimer: All Rights To Young Justice Belong To DC Comics and Cartoon Network**

**Chapter Eighteen: Busted!**

"_Recognize Superman 01. Batman 02. Wonder Woman 03. Flash 04. Aquaman 06. Martian Manhunter 07. Green Arrow 08. Zatara 11. Black Canary 13. Robin B02. Superboy B04. Lois Lane, reporter for Daily Planet. Alfred Pennyworth, former member in British Secret Service."_

The Team watched in horror as the Zeta-tube in the Cave turned on and revealed all people mentioned by the feminine voice. Their horror was only amplified when they saw Superboy and Robin being led forward with looks of shame. A tall, young woman and an elderly man also shared the same look as well. And every other person coming in looked _pissed_! Even Batman couldn't look that scary even if he tried; speaking of which, he was for the first time ever seen without his cowl completely on. It was as if he was too distracted to even get himself ready accordingly. Superman seemed to have put on his cape the wrong was as it covered his chest like a tunic, but he didn't seem to care at the moment.

Wally tried to hide behind Artemis, only to have the female archer push him away. Although the shove was a tad too strong even for her as the young Speedster found himself standing right in front of the Dark Knight himself. One Bat-glare sent Wally scurrying behind his teammates again, with more shelter this time.

"Team," Batman grinned evilly at the teenagers, "Thank you for coming to the Cave this evening despite your 'conflicting' schedules."

For a moment, M'gan let herself sigh with relief before she heard the man say, "It saved us a _great_ deal of trouble of finding you. For that, I thank you." The young Martian started sweating again. Conner wished nothing more than to place his hand around hers and give comfort...the one time Superman actually stays with the young Kryptonian for more than three minutes! Oh the irony!

"Well...Batman," Wally spoke up bravely, "What do we owe the honor of your company...and that of the rest of our mentors?"

"I am certain you already know the answer to that question, Wallace," Martian Manhunter spoke calmly, "Do you wish to know what we have been doing these past several hours?"

When none of the young heroes spoke, Black Canary stepped in, "Recovering other League members who were sadly too incapacitated to come here this evening. Not to mention recovering from...certain assaults." As she said this, Black Canary and Green Arrow looked at the old man and young woman, both who then started chuckling nervously.

"Could any of you enlighten the League as to what has been going on?" Batman questioned in a deadly whisper.

"Well Bats," Wally chuckled nervously, "The thing is, um, we don't understand-"

"Kaldur, as team leader, I think you should set the right example for everyone and tell me the whole story," the Dark Knight looked at the Atlantean more maliciously than anyone had ever seen before. And for the first time ever, Aqualad felt terrified beyond reason.

_Whatever you do. _M'gan warned Aqualad. _Do _not_ let Batman get even a hint about the You-Know-What!_

_A You-Know-What you say? This sounds interesting for your report. Tell me more... _The Team never thought Batman could get inside their heads!

_M'gan! You let him in the mind-link?! _Artemis's voice bounced around everyone's heads like a hammer to an anvil.

_Along with the rest of us. _Martian Manhunter replied in his calm voice. Didn't change the fact that the Team was screwed now.

_I just asked you a question, Miss Martian. _Batman growled. _And I am waiting. Do you know. What. Is. Going. On._

M'gan couldn't speak. Her legs were trembling. It was all she could do to not break down for the second time this month in front of the World's Greatest Detective.

_I would also like to know where Red Tornado is. _Batman added. _Considering how he is responsible for your safety._

_If we said that he was charging his batteries, would you believe me? _Wally tried coming to M'gan's rescue with that statement, only to be shot down by a Bat-glare to the face.

_No._ Batman responded. _Because I wasn't asking you and Red Tornado doesn't run on batteries. Miss Martian, answer the question and do not agree with Kid Flash's statement. I know you're smart enough to do that._

_Well._ M'gan kept her voice steady. _Red Tornado...had his systems...jammed and we didn't go near him in fear of making things worse...not to mention Robin wasn't around to give us his technical two-cents._

Aqualad stepped forward, "If I may speak, I would like to say something to my Team. But first, release Robin and Superboy immediately."

"You are in no position to negotiate with us," Batman growled.

"This is no negotiation," Aqualad insisted, "I feel as though they should be able to hear me out freely. I assure you that I will keep them under control." Batman relented and nodded towards Superman and Flash, who were restraining the other two young heroes. As soon as Robin and Superboy felt the tight grips around their shoulders relinquish, Aqualad screamed,

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" And with that, the Team fled all over the Cave with the Justice League hot on their tail. Alfred and Lois were left behind with Wonder Woman, who kept them in place with her magic lasso.

Flash chased after Artemis and Wally, who fled into the library.

"We need to think of something and fast," Artemis whispered as Flash came closer and closer to their hiding spot near an air vent. Without warning, Wally grabbed Artemis's face and pressed his lips against hers, ignoring the muffled cries of protest from the archer. As Flash made himself known to the two, he gasped in horror at the scene before him. Seeing the older Speedster's reaction, Artemis stopped resisting and started making realistic moans of pleasure.

"No, not again!" Flash cried, "Please Wally, how does this make sense? You HATE her!"

Wally began to unbutton his shirt while Artemis continued to press her lips on his neck as well. With his bare chest exposed, Wally gave Artemis a look that she somehow understood. As she started fingering at her own shirt, Flash screamed his head off and ran out of the room. When both teens were certain that Flash had left them completely, Artemis roughly pushed herself off of Wally and leaned back against a wall for support.

"That felt disgusting!" She declared as she wiped her face fiercely as if she was removing a terrible germ.

"You're telling me," Wally moaned, "You're not the one who feels like he's gonna lose his lunch."

"Hey, they were just putting on an act!" Damn it, Ollie. How did he find them?

"And here I thought they'd be a cute couple," Black Canary sighed, coming out of the shadows, "Guess I was wrong."

At that moment, Flash zoomed back in front of the two and shouted victoriously, "I knew it was all fake! I was also putting on an act."

Right as he said this however, Wally relieved his stomach of anything he had eaten in the past hour, making the older Speedster tremble in horror as he felt half-eaten pizza and peanut butter all over his body before slowly charging towards his nephew.

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" Wally screamed and proceeded to dash against the wall and managed to break through the solid concrete, leaving only an imprint of his body on the wall. This victory was short lived, however, as he collapsed onto the ground moaning more than ever.

"I surrender," Artemis sighed as she put her hands up, only to pull out her bow and begin shooting, "Not!"

XXXXXXXXXXX

Alfred looked at his captor, trying to convey a sense of pity within the Amazon warrior. Unfortunately for him, it seems as if only Master Richard and Master Conner are the only ones capable of the puppy-eye trick. Lois sighed next to him and tried to find a nail file in her pocket. Batman somehow always missed one tool whenever he confiscated any "weapons" from her or Richard during their misadventures.

"I'd stop fidgeting if I were you, Miss Lane," Wonder Woman warned the reporter, "You're wasting your time. My lasso cannot be broken by mere pocket-book accessories."

"Excuse me, madam," Alfred looked up at Wonder Woman pleadingly, "Could you loosen this rope around us, please? I am not as young as I used to be."

"I am not as gullible as some people take me for, old man," Wonder Woman huffed, "It's partly because of you that I had Bruce and Clark breathing down my neck for several days like a bunch of perverts."

"Welcome to my world," Lois grumbled. Alfred and Wonder Woman glared at her in annoyance.

"Please madam," Alfred begged, "I can't-cough, cough-have any doubts right now. Cough, cough-please, show some compassion Miss Diana."

At the mention of her name, Wonder Woman looked at the butler with pity before bending over and loosening the rope only a little. But that was all the majordomo needed to slip out and put the Amazon in his position. Lois slipped out of the rope as well before assisting Alfred with ensuring that the rope stayed firm.

"Masters Bruce and Clark went off in that direction," Alfred pointed towards the hanger, "We must intercept them and help the rest of the youngsters."

While Alfred ran as fast as he could towards the hanger, Lois lingered around a little before dropping a single nail file at the Amazon's feet.

"In case you want to test out your 'accessories' theory," Lois grinned before running off.

Men! Even when they seem old, they still trick others around them.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

M'gan and Zatanna did everything they could to keep their mentors away from them. M'gan kept on throwing chairs and anything else that wasn't nailed down towards her uncle, who merely brushed them aside with his mind. Meanwhile, Zatanna seemed to be having a reverse verbal argument with her father, who finally cleared his throat with a little water, and unleashed all that she had learned over the years and more. Zatara struggled to keep up with his frustrated daughter, seeing that most of her motivation must have originated from his overprotective behavior in terms of her chances of being on the Team.

"_E__cnad_," Zatanna chanted, causing Zatara's feet to move in a strange rhythm against their will.

"_E__saec gnicnad_," Zatara countered, freeing his feet from the spell.

"_P__als flesruoy_," Zatanna shouted. Her father's cheeks soon turned a bright-red, now that he was at the mercy of his own two hands.

"Sorry," M'gan apologized as she threw another chair at her uncle. He stopped it in its tracks before actually doing something with it and using his powers to push the object towards his niece. M'gan channeled her mind on the chair and began pushing it towards her uncle again.

Stops.

Towards M'gan.

Stops.

Towards Martian Manhunter.

Stops.

Towards M'gan.

Stops.

Towards Martian Manhunter.

Sto-

BOOM!

The force of the explosion pushed both Martians back and proceeded to knock them out simultaneously. When father and daughter saw the result of the battle beside them, they both pulled out a white flag and waved them in surrender.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Kaldur'ahm," Aquman pleaded as he chased his partner through the kitchen, "Please reconsider opposing the League. We do not wish to harm you."

"It was you along with the League that rejected me and my friends full membership into the Justice League," Aqulad growled as he unleashed a barrage of water tentacles from his water-bearers against his mentor, "You lied to us! I consider this justice to an unforgivable crime!"

"I always told you that everything happens for a reason," Aquaman tried reasoning with his student as he dodged each attack, "Because of the rejection, you formed a team of your own."

"So you do not deny the accusations?" Aqualad insisted as he kept the attack going.

"That is not what I meant," Aquaman got close enough to Aqualad that he could disarm the boy before anymore damage could occur, "Is there anything else you'd like to try?"

"Think fast," Aqualad said as he threw an open bag of chips at his king. As the snacks fell to the floor, Aquaman looked at his student with confusion.

"Is this your trump card?" He asked his student, "Mere snacks?"

"Wait for it," Aqualad grinned. Several seconds later, the ground beneath them began to tremble slightly. Aquaman looked all around him for an explanation, but his answer came to him when he saw black creatures coming towards him with sharp teeth. As they began attacking the man, Aquaman did the most natural thing a hero would do in a time like this...scream.

"Courtesy of Conner," Aqualad grinned, "It is because of him that this was possible." His satisfaction was short-lived, however, as the moles starting making their way towards him too...

XXXXXXXXXX

Robin never thought he'd find himself cornered after several minutes of running. It was embarrassing, really. But considering that their pursuers were the World's Greatest Detective and a guy who could see through almost anything, maybe he and Conner were lucky that it took several minutes instead of just one. Batman and Superman were just toying with them now, standing in place while their proteges kept backing further and further against the wall.

"I knew you two were behind all of those pranks," Batman growled triumphantly, "But I still don't understand why _I _had to be a victim too!"

"Bruce!" Superman cried indignantly.

"Face it, Kent," Batman barked, "You've had this coming for a long time."

"Around four months actually," Robin corrected.

"Whatever," Batman continued before glaring back at the Man of Steel, "Considering your behavior around Conner, I'd say this was the only thing that could have come out of it. But why me?!" This last question was directed towards his son now.

"Why not?" Robin smirked, "Someone needs to knock you off your high horse!" Batman finally had it and began marching towards the two teens.

"Now what?" Robin sighed, "We never made a Plan B."

"I did!" Conner yelled as he pounced on the Dark Knight and proceeded to pin the man in place.

He leaned into Batman's face for a few moments when Robin cried out, "Dude! You can't kiss my dad! You're underage and he's practically your uncle. That's a double no-no, man!"

"What're talking about?" Conner frowned. He pulled the older man to his feet, "I wasn't going to try the 'memory kiss thing' again. That's gross."

"So what was Plan B, then?" Robin insisted, "Surrendering?"

"More like a compromise," Batman grinned. Superman's mouth dropped when he heard this. Just then, two arms snaked their way around the Man of Steel's neck and held him in a grip.

"You wouldn't hurt a girl, would you?" Lois whispered into Superman's ear when he began to struggle.

"It's alright, Lois," Batman reassured the reporter, "I've decided to call a ceasefire. That means no shooting is necessary, Alfred."

"And here I thought I'd have something to put on my mantle this time," the old butler groaned.

Batman pulled his communicator our of his utility belt and spoke into it, "Team and Justice League members. Report to the main hall for a talk."

He then grinned at his son, "Come on, son. I think it's time we _all_ had a chat together."

XXXXXXXXXXX

It didn't take long to get everyone together, not to mention getting rid of the moles again to reveal an injured Aquaman and Aqualad underneath. Cleaning up Kid Flash and Flash however, proved to be a bit more disgusting. It was when everyone started expressing a lot of frustrations, that Batman decided to come up with a solution.

"I understand that we have all been treating you like second-class heroes, or worse these past few weeks. And I apologize, especially to you, Miss Martian. I was wrong to make you cry like that," Batman sounded truly regretful towards the end as he directed his words at M'gan, who then smiled weakly in repsone, "However, there must be a more positive way we can deal with these problems. That is why Black Canary is our therapist. If there are any problems you'd like to discuss, just talk to her and she can set up an appointment with you and the person you are having problems with. I've decided to let you all off the hook for now, but if this happens again, there will be consequences. Dismissed."

As League members and young heroes alike began to reconcile and apologize, Conner was left alone with Superman. Now the real battle began...

"I should have never been such a...jackass to you, Conner," Superman, now speaking as Clark, began, "I'm so sorry."

"Same here," Conner admitted, "Guess there is such thing as taking a joke too far."

"How about this?" Clark suggested, "I see you here once a week; we talk, train a little, maybe I help you with schoolwork if you need it, and we'll work our way from there."

"Sounds like a plan," Conner grinned. The grin grew wider as Clark placed a gentle hand on the young Krytonian's shoulder.

"I really hate to leave you, Conner," Clark started to frown. When he saw his clo-ah screw it, his son's face fall a little, Clark added, "I'm serious! I just want to let my Ma and Pa know that they'll see you more often. See you tomorrow, then?"

Conner's grin returned, "Deal." For the first time ever, Superman flew off, yet Conner didn't feel sad at all. He knew that his dad would see him again soon.

"Come along, Master Richard," Alfred sighed, "We must get you in bed now. Perhaps Master Conner would like to join us again?"

Conner looked at Batman, who nodded in reply. Without thinking, Conner went up to Robin and hugged him. Taken aback from this display of affection, Robin decided to return the embrace, getting more and more used to having a cousin again. If only John were here to see this...

"Wait," Wally spoke up, "Why's Bats letting us off the hook?"

Lois grinned, "Conner struck a deal. If Bruce and the League left you all alone, then Conner would give him something important in return."

"Been meaning to give it back for a while now," Conner admitted, "Hey Richard, race you to the Zeta-tubes!"

"You're on!" Dick started pelting off with Conner close behind him.

"So..what was the important thing?" Aqualad asked the Dark Knight.

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," Batman replied in a deadpan tone.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Clark almost had a heart attack when he saw what was on his desk around 5 pm the next day. He actually forgot about it with all that's been happening, thank God it was on his desk instead of online. There was even a note attached to it:

_Clark,_

_Just wanted to give this back to you as a sign of goodwill. Conner found this on the floor of the Metropolis Bank and thought it would be safer in your __possession. I'll still be keeping a close eye on you, though. If you screw up _again,_ then you'll find this on Facebook. See you later._

_Bats_

_P.S._

_Don't worry about the gossip. They'll lose interest before the week is out, I made sure of it._

The bathrobe photo now seemed like nothing compared to what happened these past few weeks now. Clark stuffed the photo and the note safely in his front pocket and proceeded to gather all of his stuff together. He and Lois were supposed to meet Conner at Happy Harbor in thirty minutes. As long as there were no moles or stupid gossip, he'd be fine.

**The End**

**That's it everyone. To anyone that's curious, my next story is going to be Dynamic, since it's been something I want to get back to now that this is done. If you want more stories connected to this one, just reply in the comments. Please review and thank you again for your support. Happy Readings! Happy New Year too!**


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